


Wolves of Valhalla

by Naril



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sons of Anarchy, Attempted Sexual Assault, BAMF Aethelflaed, Because of Reasons, Cannot stress the swearing enough, Cop Uhtred, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Making this up as I go along, Not A Fix-It, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Rebirth, Second Chances, Swearing, Worldbuilding, bear with me here, biker vikings, ignore the decidedly 9th century names
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:40:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22279561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naril/pseuds/Naril
Summary: Fleda is the disappointment of her family. A college drop-out who would rather tinker around with old cars and bikes than be the good daughter her mother had wanted her to be, she's not in the best place at the moment.Still, she's got her garage and at least Uhtred is still her friend.One day, destiny decides to bring her an unexpected customer. Someone she only knows from a previous life.
Relationships: Aethelflaed Lady of Mercia/Erik Thurgilson
Comments: 15
Kudos: 29





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, as I mentioned in my hasty more cracky go at this ship, I actually intended for this to be a one-shot. 
> 
> Yea, it's not anymore. 
> 
> I honestly have not been this into a ship in a long time and not only was I late to the party, but I let the fix-its fester and when I re-watched Season 2 ideas just kept torturing me. Then I saw this pic of Christian Hillborg as a biker and BAM! This happened instead of fix-its.
> 
> Characters will mostly still have the names they do in the show because... it just makes sense to me. I just might abbreviate or change minute things.

***

Fleda was not in the best place, mentally, physically and in most ways that counted, if she was being honest. She kept telling herself it was not the worst place in life either but definitely not the best place. 

She had been away at college when her father had finally died of the cancer he had been fighting since she had been 16. At the end, it had almost been a relief but she still missed him, even five years on, to the day. 

Her mother would say she had not dealt with her grief well. She thought that taking a break from college to go on a road trip with two friends was perfectly reasonable to get her head back on straight. Her mother probably mostly disliked the fact that she had dropped out after and decided to instead apprentice as a mechanic. 

Her father had liked cars. He had been meaning to fix up the old cobra he had inherited from his own father. Then he had gotten sick. The car had been forgotten in her cousin’s garage.

Once she had gotten her certificate, she had taken the money she had left from her inheritance and bought out her cousin’s vacant garage out of town near the highway. Then she had finished her father's project just last month.

Her mother had called it a waste of time. 

With her cousin in prison for human trafficking and various other things she had had no idea about until she had come back from the East Coast, he had begrudgingly sold it to her after plenty of protestations. 

At least she would be free to do her own thing that way. She never went into town unless she absolutely had to.

With her brother now at college himself there was literally no point in bothering with her family. It was not that she hated them, it was just that they had all fallen apart since her dad’s death. Like now that he was gone, they did not have to behave themselves anymore and their true colors came out. 

She was probably too harsh on them. They were her family after all and she loved them but at the moment she just did not feel like they understood her or that she belonged. 

With a last long gulp, she finished her coffee and opened the door to bring in the old pick-up truck she had been putting off. She had a feeling she would have to tell poor old McNully that he finally needed to get a new car. 

She had not heard the bike pull up because the rider was still busy pushing it up her driveway. 

It must have broken down some time ago because he had already shrugged off his jacket and the helmet and goggles dangled from the handlebars. He had his back to her as he placed it on the kickstand and wiped his forehead. 

There were no good times or places to have your motorcycle break down on you, but the California summer was certainly not helping. She was already keen to get back into the air-conned workspace herself. 

“Can I help you?” She spoke up, taking in the severe undercut, the remaining light blond strands on top slicked back, the thick tattoo peaking up from under his sweat-soaked white t-shirt and the cut he was still wearing on top. 

Wolves of Valhalla. 

It was the local MC that, for a while, she had thought Uhtred had joined, only for him to turn out to have been sent in undercover by the local cops. It had been working with these outlaws that had gotten her cousin in prison. 

She really hoped he was not here to see if the new owner would continue the tradition. 

“She broke down on me right before I got on the highway. I think it might be…” The man trailed off as he turned fully to face her, pale blue eyes meeting her own. 

“Aethelflaed?” 

That voice. 

Those eyes. 

“Erik?” She had no idea how she knew his name or how he knew her own. It was not even the name she went by usually, but the stupid weird one, her parents had chosen for her at birth. Either way, it left her reeling, the blood rushing in her ears. 

He shook his head as if the same happened to him and that might clear it. “Sorry. Do I know you?” 

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > [Moodboard for Wolves of Valhalla a Fanfic](//imgur.com/a/bXWxKds)  
> 
> 
> I hope this works. I still don't know how to embed the image itself.

***

She was still in a bit of a daze as she led him into her office to offer him some water and gathered the initial paperwork. 

After, he insisted on rolling his bike into the workspace himself and hovered awkwardly while she worked, despite the near heatstroke he must have given himself getting here. 

“She’s a bit of an old girl*, huh?” She tried for conversation despite the utter sense of confusion. 

He had signed the papers with Erik Nielsen and something about that had felt wrong but it also made her wonder even more how she had known him. Had they met in town before?

“Careful there, she’s only a little older than I am.” His raspy voice broke her train of thoughts. He had not mentioned her name again and shaken off the strange moment outside apparently much quicker than she had. At least he was not acting as shaken as she still felt. 

“And someone decided to replace the carb. Which is fine but this one’s cheap as hell and pretty much blew itself apart.” She wiped her hands and got to her feet. 

He was leaning against her workbench with his arms crossed, looking like she was handling his newborn. “I’ve only had her for a few months. Did not do a thing to her except one oil-change and tightening some bolts.” 

She shrugged, trying to be subtle about the way she was studying him, trying to work out how she could possibly know him. “Didn’t say it was you. I can order a replacement but it’s gonna take a while.” 

He nodded and dug out his phone. “How long? I was meant to be meeting someone in San Diego tomorrow.” He seemed to be checking his messages.

Wondering if this was information Uhtred might thank her for, being the local sheriff and all, Fleda licked her lips in thought. “I can call a friend of mine. He works at the dealership in Riverside. They might be able to get it to me by tomorrow morning but no earlier than that.” 

He put the phone aside, surprised, considered it, then nodded. “I’d be grateful.” 

She nodded, side-eying him again. Vice-president, his patch said of what was basically a gang of outlaws. “If everything works out, I should have you back on the road by 8 am tomorrow.”

“How much?” 

She looked back at the bike, considering. “I’ll know more when I made that call but I’d say…” She considered charging him more for a moment, then thought about whether it would be good or bad for her if she gave him a decent discount. “The carb should be around 200, maybe a bit more. We’ll talk labor when she’s up and running.” 

“Sure.” He was contemplating her intently and there was some hint of humour there. 

She grabbed a cloth, cleaned her hands. “Listen, my cousin’s in prison and I’m running an honest shop. I’ll do your repair for you, for a fair price, but I don’t want any trouble.” 

“That’s not why I’m here, sweetheart.” He held up both hands and smiled at her disarmingly. 

“No, I can tell by the state of your bike.” She looked away, wondering why she did not feel vexed by the term of endearment. 

“Well, she’s in good hands now.” He noted and in her peripheral vision she could see how he looked at her through his pale lashes. 

She rolled her eyes and went over to her office area, trying to shake off the warmth rising in her cheeks.

Trying her hardest to ignore his eyes on her, she dug through her desk drawer for the little phone book she still kept of her personal contacts. She liked a little old fashioned paperwork too much to rely on her computer system all the time. 

“I’ll make that call.” She told him, holding out her hand for the keys he had still not handed over. She could not blame him for being so possessive of his bike. She really was a beauty and did not deserve the cheap part she had been fitted with. 

“Thank you.” He placed them in her palm, his fingers brushing hers giving her goosebumps. What was wrong with her? She was not some stupid romance novel heroine who swooned over attractive bad boys. She should know better at this point in her life.

Who was this man?

She also decidedly did not check out his ass in those leather pants as he went outside to make a call, and if she did, she put it down to her recent long dry spell. 

He then spent a good deal of time arguing on his phone and the next time she looked up, he had wandered back in, watching her work. “I’ll be out of your hair soon. Just waiting for my ride.” He said and they left it at that. 

Not too long after another bike pulled up out front and he went to greet the rider. 

The man was stocky with an unkempt wild beard under his helmet and did not seem all that happy about being called in to play cabbie. He met her eyes as she got out under McNully’s truck and then said something to his VP that earned him a glare and a sharp retort she could not make out over her music. 

He stayed on his bike, glowering at her, as if this was all her fault and Erik came back indoors for a moment. He cleared his throat as he watched her sort through her tools. “Thanks again. I’ll be back in the morning, then.” 

“Yeah sure. No problem.” She nodded. 

Hesitating a moment longer, he too nodded and went back outside, getting on behind his buddy who revved the engine and drove off, back towards the town. 

For a moment longer she stood there, trying and failing to shake off the strong sense of deja-vu.  
_  
***  
They were walking back in the moonlight, past the guards on the walls and into the stables. He opened the door for her to step through, looking contrite. _

_“I’ll be back in the morning.” He mumbled and she wondered at the sudden change in his demeanour._

_She hesitated, not knowing what to say. There were no guards, he must have sent them away for a while, so it was private enough. “I… thank you. Truly.” She stammered and it was utterly inadequate but he would not even look at her._

_She stepped into his space, stopping short of touching him because despite what had happened out there, she too did not know what it meant for them. “I mean it.”_

_A little reluctantly he looked up, looking pained. “Lady -“ He started._

_“Aethelflaed.” She corrected lightly and he took her hands with a tiny twitch of a smile and a nod._

_“Aethelflaed,” he began again, taking a deep breath, “I would give you your freedom. I would let you go -”_

_“You can’t.” She did not need him to hell her. “I know. I understand. I’m too big a prize. Your men wouldn’t understand.”_

_He still looked uncomfortable but lifted her hands, kissing them, like he was breathing her in._

_“I wish things were different.” She conceded, cupping his face in her hands and leaning in to steal another kiss while she could. “But then we would not have met.”_

_He chased her mouth, forehead pressed to hers like she had seen the Lord Uthred do with his wife at times. Was this a Danish custom? Either way, she was not about to complain._

_It was him who drew away again with a deep sigh. “I must go.”_

_She nodded, entering her cell and sitting on her cot. “You’ll be back tomorrow?”_

_“Yes.” He locked her in and this time did not look back through the bars, instead walked away immediately like he could not bear it otherwise._

_She slid down from the cot, turning to pray, her little silver cross tight between her hands where she could still feel his calloused ones holding hers._

_She prayed their destinies had been different. She prayed they had been born different people. And she prayed that she would not lose this thing she had found with a Danish warlord of all people._  
  
***

The next morning she just about managed to get out of bed when the doorbell rang before dawn and the courier had arrived with the part. Her dreams had been utterly vivid and she could not make head or tails of it.

At some point while she had been working, pre-dawn still only creeping up, he had sauntered in and returned to his spot by the workbench. She had not even heard anyone pull up, busy with her task. 

Clearly this time he had been dropped off in a car, instead of by his creepy friend. He was fiddling with the take-out cup he kept sipping from and in fact, he had brought her a steaming cup too. 

“I don’t know how you take it, but I thought it’s the least I could do.” He explained, not meeting her eyes as he held out the offering. 

She nodded in thanks, gulping it straight down while it was probably still too hot and neither of them spoke much while she was fitting the carburetor. She had taken out the old one the day before so she was done way ahead of schedule, with the bike up and running by 7:37. 

The cash was already on her desk, two thick wads of notes. “500 bucks for the extra hassle. Sound fair?” He asked, watching her count. 

“Yep.” She put the counted money in an envelope and set it aside, not wanting to have him watch her as she put them into her safe. She refused to look surprised at the amount of cash or the generous amount. She could use the money after all. 

She followed him as he pushed the bike outside, even though their transaction was concluded and there was no real reason to see him off, after all. 

“Thank you.” He told her over the noise of the idling engine. 

She simply nodded, an odd tugging in her chest protesting at the fact that he was leaving. 

“I owe you.” He said. “I mean it.” 

“As long as your cash isn’t fake, you’re all good.” She crossed her arms as if that would keep her from acting stupid or from doing something strange. Her dream came back to her, the reality of it, the way he had looked at her then. 

He looked like he was about to say something else but then shook his head, putting on his helmet and goggles instead. As he drove off into the bright morning sun, she stepped back into the garage, trying very hard not to feel the odd sense of grief that was trying to overwhelm her. 

Maybe she was just being too antisocial. Maybe she needed to get out more. Uhtred had been teasing her about turning into a hermit before she even hit her thirties. It was a bit rich coming from him of all people, but maybe he had a point. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Harley Davidson FXR is a model built throughout the 80s. I did not name it explicitly, but our boy got himself a vintage bike. I’m making them closer in age than they were in their old life so fleda’s mid/late twenties and Erik is early thirties. There’s no more than seven years between them. I don’t know how it worked on the show because the show is like: what is age anyhow, here’s a 16 year old played by a 35 year old? but even the actors’ ages at the time (my maths is terrible but 39? and 23?) make me a bit iffy…. yea, they’re just closer in age in this life ok?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some world-building here as Sheriff Uhtred makes an appearance.

*** _  
After the battle, she had snuck into the night, back towards the smoking remains of Beamfleot._

_“Lady, where are you going?” It was Uhtred. He still looked worse for wear but he was standing on his own two feet._

_“I…” She swallowed. She had not really thought of where she had been going if she was being honest, only that she needed to go back._

_He cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable but after a quick look around to ensure their privacy, he stepped closer. “You’ll not find anything but more pain there. Let it go.”_

_She turned away, eyes back to the smoking ruins. “Tell me,… will he reach Valhalla?”_

_Uhtred fidgeted and gave a sigh then placed a hand on her shoulder. “He died fighting, lady. Sword in his hand. Fighting for you at that. I’d say it is a more than a good enough death for Odin to accept him.”_

_She bit down on her lip to keep the threatening sobs in check. “Even if… there is no proper burial?” It was futile, her voice gave her away._

_Another sigh. “Lady, tomorrow I will go with my men and see about it for you.”_

_“No…” She gulped, tried to straighten. “It should be me. I should…”_

_“In the dark, you won’t be able to tell a burnt body from burnt wood, lady.” He told her bluntly but seemed to regret it immediately, wincing at the expression on her face. “We will find him for you, make a proper pyre. You’ll be able to set fire to it yourself, I promise. We just need to do it when your father is busy.”_

_“I won’t ever be able to tell him, nor anyone.” The tears came unchecked but what was the use in trying. “No one will know about this… he’ll be forgotten.”_

_Though he still tried to look unbothered as always, Uhtred haltingly offered her an embrace, which she gratefully took. He held her as she wept and if someone was to witness her weakness, she was glad it was him._

_“He’ll not be forgotten, lady. You and I will remember and someday, perhaps the Gods will be good enough and you’ll see him again.”_

_She only cried harder. It was sweet of him to say, but they both knew that there was no afterlife to reunite them. She was destined for heaven and Erik would sit with his brother in Valhalla._

_“Tell me of Odin’s hall, please.” She said, pulling away again. “Tell me of where he is now.”_

_Uhtred studied her a little longer, then nodded. “Come, we’ll sit by the fire. Perhaps your father will see and I will manage to annoy him again.”_

_It was not quite a laugh, but the raw attempt of a chuckle was enough to make him smile at her. “It will be easier, lady. Eventually.” He said and led her back to camp._

***  
She found him in a diner, having recognized his bike and deciding to risk approaching him. 

It had been barely two weeks but the weird pull was becoming almost painful and the dreams were driving her crazy with how real they felt, how coherent they were. It was like she was seeing a narrative in glimpses, in little puzzle pieces. 

There was something tugging in her chest when she saw him sitting in a corner booth at the back, reading a paperback, she caught the cover: Terry Pratchett. He was so into it, he did not notice her until she sat across from him, ordering a quick coffee from the waitress as she came by. 

“Hi.” She tried. 

He looked a bit caught off-guard, but not unfriendly or annoyed, just placed a piece of paper between the pages to not lose his place. “Hi.” 

“I’m on a supply run. Thought I'd grab a coffee before I go back.” She grimaced at the need to justify her presence.

He hummed in response. “Do you run the garage all by yourself, then?" 

"Yea, my cousin's left it vacant for quite a bit. I'm still building up my client base for the moment, so just me is plenty." 

He digested the information. She had no doubt that he knew just who her cousin was. “How’s that going?” 

“Alright. A few people keep asking me about the 'owner' and it's a bit annoying but they'll learn.” 

“I doubt he’s getting out any time soon.” He watched her closely, calculatingly. “Him and the old president.” 

She smirked right back, shrugging. “Doubt it. Not that I’d know though. You can always ask the sheriff.” 

He huffed a laugh. “Right. Yea, I’ll just ask him next time we have a drink.” 

“You do that.” 

Silence. 

He leaned in, a smile still making his eyes sparkle playfully. “The bike’s better than ever if that’s what you were here about?” 

She tried for a smile and shifted nervously. “I really just wanted to know how you know my name. I mean, I don’t think we’ve met before.” 

That made him falter, gaze dropping to the table between them. 

“I do feel like I know you, like we’ve met before.” She said. “And this sounds completely nuts but I have these dreams…” 

He did frown at her, much as she had expected but he only seemed frustrated, like he had been wondering the same thing. “How could we know each other? I didn’t grow up here. I only came to join this charter with my brother four years ago.” 

“Yes, and I barely came to visit until I came back this year, but look, you knew my name. You said my name the moment we saw each other.” 

He sighed, combed a hand through his slicked-back hair. “Look, I can’t explain it either but…” Trailing off, he stared at her. “Your hair should be long. I remember it long. Did you ever have long hair?” 

Shrugging she reached up to play with a strand of her pixie cut. “I cut it off when I was 13. Mom was furious.” 

They were back to square one and knew it. He could not be remembering her hair long. Like he had said, he had not grown up in the area, it could not be a childhood memory they had both forgotten about or that she had run into him during her road trip. 

“In my dreams your tattoos are different.” She blurted, leaning in. “And you’ve got scars.” 

He blinked at her, apparently trying to work things out just as much as she was. 

“Here.” She unthinkingly reached out and traced a line down his temple over his right eye with her forefinger. “And another one here.” She drew a line from the bridge of his nose on a downward slope across his cheek. 

He had held still but the expression in his sharp eyes had her freeze. There was wonder there, not doubts or disbelief. 

“Sorry.” She sat back, crossing her arms defensively. “I sound like a bad fucking romance novel.” 

When he chuckled, his eyes crinkled exactly the way she knew they would. The familiarity would have been creepy if it did not make her feel warm. No, it was creepy despite it, she decided. 

“You do a little.” He admitted. “But it is weird, there’s no denying that. I could swear I -” 

He reached out too, two fingers under her chin to make her meet his eyes again.  
_  
Suddenly they were sitting in high grass under a full moon with what looked like Viking longboats in the distance._

_“I’ve never seen a face like this before. Now I see it even when I close my eyes.”_  
  
The image flickered and faded. 

By the baffled look on his face, he had seen it too. 

Before she could even gather her thoughts again, he swallowed hard and his eyes flicked to the clock on the wall. “I have to go. My brother is expecting me back at the clubhouse.” 

She felt her stomach drop in disappointment. Did he mean to just run away from this? Had she been wrong and he had not seen the strange vision, too?

He dug out his phone and turned the screen so she could see it. It was displaying his number, a different one from what he had put on the repair form. “Just in case.” 

She smiled, unfamiliar shyness rearing its head and typed it into her own. Drop-calling him, she nodded. 

He too smiled tentatively as he put his phone away and she spotted the aborted move towards her hand. 

Making the decision for him, she took his and squeezed. “I’d like to find out what this means.” 

“Yea.” He was staring blankly at their hands like they might reveal the secret all by themselves. “I do too.” 

“Thank you.” She made to let go, but he held on, squeezed back. 

“For what?” 

“For not calling me batshit crazy.” 

Giving her hand another squeeze, he seemed to physically tear himself away to get up, throwing his cut back on as he stepped out the door. 

***

Fleda walked back into the garage and took a deep breath, trying to find the motivation to get back to work. 

“Are you playing hooky from your own shop?” A drawling voice came from her office area. 

She sighed, shook her head and turned to see her childhood friend sat there, looking decidedly amused. “I saw the sign, thought I’d wait for you.” 

“Get your feet off my desk, Uhtred Armstrong or so help me, this town will need to find another sheriff.” 

“Alright, alright, always with the threats.” He held up a greasy bag as if as a peace offering. “I got you some fried chicken from that place you like.” 

“I ate already.” She had not, only eaten a slice of pie at the diner after Erik had left, while she had tried to make sense of what had happened. She had hoped the sugar would help. It did not. 

Worry flickered over Uhtred’s face. “Okay. Put it in the fridge then, for dinner.” 

“I don’t need you babying me.” 

“I’m not -“ He groused, then huffed a breath. “Fine, I worry about you out here all alone, alright?” He put the bag back on her desk and got up. 

“I’m fine.” She crossed her arms. “You know I can take care of myself.” 

He made a face. “Of course I know that. But that’s what friends do, in case you’d forgotten.” 

She cracked her neck, grinning when he winced at the sound. The look of concern was still there though and she was fed up with it. “Can you please stop with the kid gloves and the coddling?!” 

His expression shuttered. “You are unbelievable. This is me trying to be your friend!” He protested loudly but when she twitched at the volume he backed off immediately and that just made it worse.

“My friend is a little shit who cannot go two sentences without sexual innuendo. He’s also sarcastic as fuck and would be the first one to tell me that I’m acting like a bitch to the face.” She explained flatly. “I’m not seeing him here. I haven’t seen him for a while.” 

He approached her carefully. “Fleda, come on, with what happened to you -“ 

“I don’t want to have to talk about it anymore.” She grit out between her teeth.

He nodded, looked her over. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not helpful. I just…” Trailing off, he ground his teeth. 

“Yea.” She shrugged again, chewing on her lip and not able to look at him anymore. “I just want to put it behind me, okay?” 

Uhtred had never been good with controlling his temper but somehow he reigned himself in. “Yea. Look, I gotta go back to work,” he started to walk away, “text me, alright?” 

“Only if you stop replying in nothing but gifs.” 

He turned around with his familiar smirk back in place, walking backward for a few paces. “You love the gifs.” 

“They’re better than your memes.” 

“They’re funny!” 

“So not.” 

He laughed and waved before leaving her to her work. 

She turned on the radio to deafen the silence. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to acknowledge now that I’m going by the show’s canon not the books in case that was not obvious from the little flashbacks.
> 
> I may also play fast and loose with history


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More plot happens but also this might count as the first official date

***

“Hey, Erik, it’s the arseling*.” Sig’s cheery call had him look up to see the Sheriff pull up. 

“The fuck does he want?” Haesten beside him sneered, putting away the map they had been looking at. 

He had been in a bit of mood since picking up Erik from the garage and getting told off for noting how much prettier the mechanic there was, compared to the old man they frequented for their bikes usually. The words he had used had been less kind. 

Erik had made it very clear, that this was not going to become their new place to go, never mind that the girl’s cousin had been an associate of the club once upon a time. She had said she did not want their continued patronage and he was going to respect that. 

It had taken some whinging but eventually, Haesten had accepted it, if begrudgingly. 

“We’ll find out.” Erik got up to meet their visitor. “Uhtred, how can we help you?” 

The man looked annoyed as usual. Sig and him actually had a bet running about if any of them were ever going to crack the mask. “Can I talk to you and your brother in private?” 

Sig had stepped up behind him. “You gonna tell us what you want?” 

“I just need a minute of your time.” 

Sig was rolling his eyes but he only nodded, remaining friendly. “Come on inside. You want anything to drink?” He offered because honestly, despite what the guy had cost the club, it was a bad idea to antagonize the law in town too much. 

“I’m good.” Uhtred sat across from him on the counter, while Sig joined him behind the bar and the door was closed to give them privacy.

“I assume you know about the shoot-out at the docks?” The sheriff finally said. 

Sig shrugged. “It made the papers.” 

Uhtred gave him a look. “You can play dumb with me all you want, it won’t make me leave quicker. I’ve got a Federal Agent on my ass to dig into this.” 

“Alright.” Erik crossed his arms, while his brother went for the fridge. “Let’s just be honest with each other and get this over with quickly. What do you want?” 

“The Saxons took on the Aryan Vanguard. Shot down their leader and core-members in what looks like a deal gone wrong. I need to know if you heard about any kind of beef between them or if we can expect more of the kind?” 

Apparently Sig was not as quick as he had been to school his expression because he choked on the beer he had just opened and Uhtred only glanced his way before chuckling. “Ah, I see you didn’t even know that much.” 

“They had a truce last we knew.” Erik admitted because at this point there was no point in being cagey about it. 

“Nazi-shits came to our door first. Probably because of our name.” Sig grinned. “I politely showed them the door, didn’t I?” 

Erik sighed. “The sheriff doesn’t need to hear about that.” 

“The sheriff already told both of you multiple times that he’s not getting involved unless you leave him no choice.” Uhtred slapped the bar top. “I would appreciate a heads up if there is reason to believe the Saxons are going to continue this war with someone else.” 

“We’ll keep an ear out.” Erik nodded. 

“Right.” The sheriff strolled back out, leaving the two of them to share a glance. 

It must be serious business for Uhtred to show his face personally. 

***

“You say you took a road trip after college?”

“Yea, coast to coast. My best friend, her cousin and me.” She nibbled on the cinnamon bun she had grabbed with her coffee before coming here. 

“You come through Nevada?” 

“Nah, we didn’t wanna bother with Vegas.” 

He frowned and took off his shades to rub at his eyes. “I just don’t get it.” 

“Yea, well.” She shrugged, shooting a glance around the park they had met in and glared at an old woman who was walking her dog and staring at them for a little too long. 

“You know her?” He asked, amused as they watched her shuffle off, grumbling loudly about the neighborhood. 

“They’re all the same. Don’t know a thing about you but then tell their church-group how deep the mayor’s daughter has fallen, sharing a park bench with an outlaw.” She crumpled up the paper bag her treat had come in and threw it at the nearest trash-can. “‘College-drop out, such high hopes, what can you expect?”

“You really don’t like this town, huh?” It was a gentle question, his eyes sympathetic. 

She snorted. “Everyone here judges everybody else. If you don’t conform to their expectations, they don’t care why they just make you an outcast.” A helpless gesture. 

He did not comment but kept looking at her with this expression, the one she knew so well even though they had only met for the third time that day. 

“You want some?” She held out her cinnamon bun. “It’s still warm. I promise it’s worth it.” 

Blinking, he looked between her and the sweet, completely startled. “Thanks.” He managed. 

She ripped it in half and handed him one. 

“My mom used to buy us these.” He took a long look at it like he was not sure what to make of it. “Never liked the American ones.” 

She frowned. “What’s so bad about them?” 

“Deep-fried, glazed sugar…” Making a face, he took a bite but then his expression shifted abruptly to delight. “They’re not like these for one.” 

Chuckling, she went back to her own piece. “’s from the Swedish bakery back there.” 

“I’m gonna have to check it out.” He had already wolfed it down, even licked his fingers. “I don’t think I’ve had one this good since I was a kid.”

The smile he sent her was much too bright. She looked away, uncomfortable with how warm it made her feel. 

“My mom,” he told her, “she was studying at the university in Copenhagen when she met my dad. When he went to prison, she moved us back stateside.” 

She wiped her hands on her jeans, having also finished her piece of pastry. “To Nevada?” 

He nodded, put his shades back on and cleared his throat. “Yea, her brother, my uncle, he was a Wolf and so was dad, just… you know, Danish charter. We ended up living with my uncle in Henderson.” 

Fleda decided not to ask what had happened to his parents. “I’ve never been to Europe.” She said instead. 

Steepling his hands together, and resting his elbows on his knees, he watched the few people who were frequenting the park this early in the morning, expression unreadable under the dark glasses. 

“I don’t know what happened at the diner; what I saw; why we knew each other’s names, but there’s gotta be some kind of explanation.” 

She took a sip of her cooling coffee, stalling. “What if it’s destiny? What if we were once…like in another life… I know it sounds…” She shook her head, feeling silly. “I don’t know!” She threw up her hands. “I know that it doesn’t make any sense!” 

“You mean like Beren and Luthien**?” He asked, taking the shades off again and this time putting them away properly. 

She gave him an odd look. 

He flushed. “I read -“ 

_“I will teach you.”_

_They were not sitting on a park bench anymore, but in a stone room with a barrel between them, there was a wooden cot, furs on the ground. There were torches and candles lighting the room and it smelt of horses._

_Her hand was in his and he was stroking over the back of it with his thumb._

They blinked and were back in the park, in the present. 

Fleda had had enough. “Fuck!” She blurted, jumping to her feet. “Don’t tell me you didn’t see that!” 

His eyes were wide and shaken. “I did.” 

“So it’s not just me.” 

“No.” He gulped, obviously trying to work out what had just happened. “No, it’s not just you.” 

She blew out a long breath, went over to the trashcan, threw in her take-out cup and picked up the wad of paper she had thrown earlier, putting it in properly this time. “I’ve gotta get to work.” 

Nodding vaguely, he still seemed preoccupied with his thoughts. 

“I’ll catch you later?” She fidgeted a little. 

“Yea.” He gave her a faint smile. “I’ll message you.” 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the old sheriff gave him the nickname. You can guess who I mean. Sig heard about it and likes to piss Uhtred off.
> 
> **What can I say? This Erik likes to read.
> 
> I also have a question: There is a big bit of Smut that is technically part of the next chapter and I don't know whether to leave it in or take it out to post separately since the story works without it?


	5. Chapter 5

“I had a dream.” He said as soon as the door opened. He looked rattled, eyes wide and haunted. “I had a dream too.” 

Ushering him up the stairs and into her apartment above the garage, she turned on the coffee maker. They would both need it. 

“I dreamt of when we first met.” He muttered, slumped over the cup of coffee she had shoved into his hands. 

Piling sugar into her own, because this late at night, she needed the sweetness, she waited for him to continue. 

“I was on a horse. There was a camp on fire.” He sighed and shook his head, still struggling to sort through it all. “I asked if you were the princess. You wouldn’t say a thing, so we found another prisoner and asked him if you were her.” 

*  
_  
He did not need the half-dead man’s word for it. By her fine clothes alone and the silver brooch on her robe, it was clear who she was._

_He drove his horse closer and bent down to speak to her in confidence. “You may ride with me, lady, and none shall hurt you.”_

_She only looked scornfully at his outstretched hand. Of course, she would have pride. Truthfully he had expected her to be crying and wailing in fear. This was a welcome surprise._

_“Believe me, lady, what options my brother may come up with will be even less to your liking.”_

_She looked up and though she hid it well, this time he could see the fear._

_Remaining as patient as he could, he kept his hand out for her to take, returning her gaze with sincerity._

_It took another moment and some more leering commentary from the surrounding men for her to accept his hand and to allow him to lift her up in front of him._

_She seemed immediately uncomfortable with sitting sideways but there was not much she could do except clutch the horse’s mane. He had been told she was an adept rider. This way she would not be getting any ideas of throwing him off and making a break for it._

_She stiffened when he wrapped his arms around her, one hand reaching for the reigns and another around her slim waist to keep her from slipping.  
_  
*

“I kidnapped you!” 

She fought down the urge to laugh out loud. “So you think it did happen? That it’s real?” 

Sighing at the fact that she did not seem to grasp the gravity of the situation, he stared a little morosely into his empty coffee cup. “I… I can’t see how it can’t be real. It was so, so clear…but what I did…”

“It’s kind of sweet that you’re so offended by your other self.” She managed.

“It’s not funny.” 

“It is a little bit.” She teased, though even with some ten cups of coffee between them, she was probably too tired to continue the conversation and arrive at any reasonable conclusions. 

“You wanna stay the night?” She asked, yawning. 

He gaped at her. 

“I need to get to bed before I pass out and you look like you need sleep too.” She got up and placed her mug in the sink, turning expectantly when he did not move. 

“What?” He looked utterly befuddled by the offer, whether from sleep deprivation or just because he had not expected it. 

She cocked her head and pointed over her shoulder. “Bed’s big enough for both of us, come on.” 

It took until she had pulled off the coverlet for him to follow her and stand fidgeting by the wall. “I’m not sure I should be here.” 

“I am.” She threw back the sheets and took off the sweater she had put on over her pajamas. 

Still, he hesitated, fiddling with one of his rings. “Listen, … if this is because of some odd dreams we’re having -“ 

“It’s not.” She climbed into bed and patted the space next to her. “It’s because I want to.” 

Looking anywhere but at her, he did finally shrug off his jacket and took off his boots. When he lay down on top of the covers, he was still decidedly stiff but she counted it as a victory. 

“What’s bothering you so much?” She asked, turning onto her side to face him. Had she read him wrong? Up until tonight, he had been sending some fairly clear signals and she had been aching to touch him with the familiarity she remembered them sharing. 

“Stockholm syndrome springs to mind.” His gaze was resolutely focused on the ceiling. 

“Well, in this life that’s not how we met. So don’t worry about it.” She reached over and after a second of hesitating, squeezed his hand. “What’s it feel like now?” 

Relaxing minutely he took it in his, drawing circles over the back of it with his thumb like in that brief glimpse they had had of the past. 

“It feels like coming home.” He noted after a few breaths. 

“Good.” She moved closer, pressing a gentle kiss into the corner of his mouth, questioning. In a mirror to a moment a few lifetimes ago, he stared at her for an instant longer before moving in himself for more. 

It really was like coming home. 

It was strange because they were definitely different from the people they were dreaming of. 

For one, her hair was short, she was harder, less curvy and soft. Her hands were showing the work she had been doing since she had dropped out of college, the callouses different from the ones her past self must have acquired by other tasks a lady of her station would have been expected to perform. 

He too was different. There was ink in places she did not remember or missing altogether, scars too, that she was sure he had told her about before. He too was built differently, leaner, less raw power like a warrior and more like he spent a fair number of hours at the gym like many men these days. 

And still, it was like their bodies just knew each other, like some instinct guided them on how to touch and where. Almost like they were made to figure out the puzzle pieces together.

Their noses brushed as they tried to catch their breaths, afterward, one tight bundle of limbs. She stroked circles with her thumb where she was still cupping his cheek and he drew senseless figures on her back as they finally, finally slipped into sleep together. 

* __

_“I want to know what it is supposed to be like. I’ve heard from others that it is meant to be… enjoyable.” She mumbled, embarrassed and flushed. “Will you show me?”_

_He was giving her that look again like she had said something that both pained him and something else, something that made his entire being soften. It had been the same look he had given her back in the field before he had kissed her the first time._

_“Was he your first, then?” He blurted, seemingly trying to find the right words. “I had heard that Christian women marry as virgins but…”_

_It was probably her horrified look that had him trail off._

_“Is it not like that for Danes?” She was growing increasingly more embarrassed._

_“No. It isn’t.” He drew back from the embrace, putting some distance between them and looked almost as unsettled as she felt. “It isn’t important at least. Children out of wedlock can be a burden on a woman’s family but that you would not be allowed to -“_

_She drew into herself, suddenly feeling incredibly childish and inadequate._

_With a sigh, he reached out tentatively, like they had not been spending the better part of the previous hour kissing and learning each other. When she did not draw back, he brushed her hair behind her ear, obviously trying to catch her eyes. “What else is forbidden to Christian women?”_

_“What do you mean?” She looked up, unprepared for the soft smile that greeted her._

_“I mean, do you know your body; what you like?” It was a simple question, no judgment like he had already accepted everything she had told him and did not mind one bit._

_She frowned. “I…I’m not meant to.”_

_Chuckling, he leaned in, kissed her under her ear and whispered: “But you do.” It was not a question._

_She snorted a laugh too. “I do.”_

_“Let’s start there.”_  
  
***

“This is crazy!” She muttered as they set down the books they had gathered on a library table. Yes, it had been her who suggested it in the first place but the logical part of her still wrestled with the implications. 

They had woken a tangled knot of limbs and with more memories from a past life between the two of them. Names, moments and emotions that had left them both terrified and confused. 

They had driven to the next bigger town because the research she had done online in the morning had not been enough. He did not respond, just started searching through indexes and tables of contents. 

“Perhaps your parents naming you after some Anglo-Saxon princess wasn’t just a bizarre choice.” He turned a page and placed the book so she could see it. “You say your brother’s name was Edward and that you had a daughter named Ælfwynn.” 

She stared blankly at the family tree he had placed in front of her. “Maybe I read up on my name once and I dream about that now?” She suggested, though her eyes were stuck to the line linking Æthelflæd with Æthelred and leading to Ælfwynn. 

“I thought you were supposed to be the one who believed that what we’ve been seeing is some past life thing?” He teased but she barely heard it. 

“That’s not right.” She whispered and traced the line as if it would change and reveal the truth underneath. 

Erik was watching her closely, waiting. 

A conversation flashed before her eyes, about a suspicion, about how they needed to hurry lest the secret be revealed. There had been a reason they had needed to run, had not had time for more careful planning. 

“She wasn’t… she was…” She looked up, saw the blooming ache in his eyes, reflecting hers but infinitely worse, worse because he had not been there. 

“She was ours.” He breathed and the memory of a previous life flooded the air between them. 

“She was.” She stared back down at the page. 

His hand on hers made her skin tingle. “How could I know this? How could we both know this?!” He looked a little desperate, a little mad even and it mirrored perfectly how she felt. Could this be real? 

“Do they mention you in any of these?” She asked. 

He slumped back down into the plastic library chair. “No. There is only one Erik they mention in England that would fit. Erik Bloodaxe and he was around a little later and had nothing to do with Æthelflæd. I don’t think he’s….me.” 

“Are we going crazy?” She took his hand as he offered it, trying to make sense of this strange thing they had discovered. 

“I don’t know.” He said, tugged her towards him so she sat on his lap. 

Their table was in a far corner with bookcases obstructing the view. They were safe enough. An outlaw and the mayor’s daughter might still draw attention even here. 

“So… we had magic sex and suddenly we remember that we used to be lovers in a past life?” 

He snorted and nuzzled into her shoulder. “Magic sex, huh?” 

She ignored him. “Why should I have been the Lady of Mercia once? I mean I dropped out of college to become a mechanic and my mom is a small-town mayor. That’s a bit of a step-down, don’t you think?” 

He shrugged. “I guess growing up in Copenhagen works for the whole Viking thing.” 

Cupping his cheeks, she gave him a playful peck on the lips and a critical look. “I think the haircut and the tattoos help too.” 

“I’ll have to grow my beard out longer though.” He smirked, going in for another kiss. 

“I don’t know, I like it like this.” 

Instead of worrying about the implications of their possible past lives, they instead tacitly decided to use their quiet little corner for a make-out session that would have put a few local teenagers to shame. 

Reality and strange spiritual experiences could wait for a bit. 

***

“What happened?” He had pulled up to the clubhouse just in time to see the rest of the MC arrive, four bikes and a van. 

“Where were you?!” Sig snarled as he got out of the passenger seat. 

“Out of town.” He noted the bullet holes in the windshield and hood. There was steam coming out of the engine too, it was a wonder they had limped back home. 

“Yea, well someone tried to ambush us on the road. They wanted our shipment.” Sig was pacing. 

“Sithric almost crashed the fucking thing.” He gave the prospect a glare as the kid wobbled his way into the clubhouse, looking decidedly pale and like he might puke.

“There’s blood on the bumper.” There was also a definite dent and damage to the front. 

“Yea, because I took the wheel and made him drive straight through the fuckers.” Sig kicked at the said bumper and it fell clean off. 

“Damn shame we don’t have a cheap mechanic anymore.” Haesten noted as he joined them, with a sly look his way.

He had been insinuating that they should just claim Fleda’s garage for the club for a while now. Erik was a little fed up with it. He had told him to forget about it and he intended to keep it that way. 

He decided to ignore the comment since there were more pressing matters. “You ran a guy over?!” 

His brother snorted. “Yea, two of them.” 

“What the fuck, Sig?!” 

“Are you seeing what they did to the van?” He pointed at the damage as if that justified everything.

“Did anyone see you?” 

“Nah, secluded bit of road. That’s why they were waiting there.” 

“Any idea who they were?” 

A shrug. “Maybe the Saxons, I don’t know. The Mexicans are pissed already, we can’t afford a fuck-up with the delivery or they’ll lose their patience.” 

Erik scratched his chin, trying to come up with a solution to all the problems that were only piling up on their doorstep. “If it is the Saxons, we’ve got a boatload more problems. With them taking the docks, they’re already messing up the knife’s edge balance around here.” 

“Yea, you can thank the old president for that one. He had all these dealings set up with them and the Vanguard.” 

They both watched as the rest of the boys pushed the van into the back. 

“This has been working for four years now. We extracted ourselves from the whole mess, paid back what was due and came to agreements. I’m gonna try to set up a meeting with the Japanese for a start. See if this can’t be salvaged.” He pulled out his phone.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided against the full smut. I might throw that in a separate bit but I wanted to keep the rating low. I still put it up to M now because further down the line we are looking at less nice things.


	6. Chapter 6

***

“You’re chipper.” Uhtred greeted her. He had found her in the corner of the little town festival, just behind the hot dog hut. 

“I am?” She accepted the beer he offered her and shrugged as he sat across from her. “Maybe it’s the weather.” 

He snorted. “It’s Cali, Fleda. The weather is always the same.” 

She shrugged again. 

“Alright, don’t tell me.” He too took a sip. 

“So, you’re avoiding your mom?” 

“Ugh!” She groaned. “‘Hi, Fleda, how are you? Long time no see. You look great.’” 

He chortled. “Yea, all that. Why did you even come if you’re gonna hide in the corner?” 

“Because it would make her worse?” She sassed. “This way, she can’t call me up to rant at me for three hours about how I should be more present at town celebrations, how I’m an ungrateful brat and how she misses my old boyfriend because with him there, at least I behaved myself.” 

He grimaced. “Listen, I know you don’t wanna hear this but maybe if you told her…” 

The look she gave him was enough. He nodded, instead took another drink. 

“How are you?” She asked pointedly. 

“I’ve got something that looks like a gang-war brewing but yea, I’ve been worse,”

She faltered. “Wait, what?” 

“Yea,” he debated for a moment how much to tell her, “one of the bike gangs has gone and decided to get rid of the competition.” 

“Oh?” She looked off to the side, probably worried her mother might spot her. “Your old friends?” 

“No.” 

She looked back, somehow looking uncomfortable. “Are you… still in contact?” 

He did not quite know what to make of her asking about his old undercover job. She had once told him that he did not need to tell her anything about it if he did not want to. “Sometimes. I talked to them about this to see if I could find out if they were involved.” 

“Were they?” She was still doing anything to avoid eye-contact. 

“They say no.” He shrugged. “I’m inclined to believe them. At least their VP has enough brains to stay out of something like that.” 

“Their president doesn’t?” 

He chuckled. “Sig is a nutjob. The only reason they’ve successfully avoided disaster since they took over is Erik, the VP. He’s his younger brother.” 

Interest lit up in her eyes. “They weren’t here when you were undercover?” 

He gave her a long hard look. “No. They came in after the arrests. I’m not sure how that happened but they essentially built up the charter again.”

“They’re not from here, are they?” 

“No. Listen, have they been bothering you? I mean with the garage-“ 

“No, I just hear my mom complaining.” She tried to dismiss it.

“Huh.” He glanced over and saw the Madam Mayor glaring their way but at least making no move towards her daughter yet. “I can see that. Yea, they’re from the Nevada charter, grew up in Europe with their mom or something. I didn’t meet them until I got back myself and by then they’d already established themselves.” 

“I fixed his bike.” She admitted, licking her lips. “Erik’s I mean. It must have broken down nearby and he turned up in my garage.” 

That explained some of it. He studied her a bit more closely. “He behave himself?” 

“Unless you count massively overpaying me, yes. I told him I didn’t want anything to do with their club and he seemed fine with it.” 

“That’s good.” He thought about it. “You can probably trust him to stay out of your hair. They usually get their work done across town at Smith’s.” 

Fleda nodded. “It’s the first time I saw any of them. Just thought I should be clear from the start.” 

“You’re lucky it was him and not one of the others.” He hesitated. “If his brother or this guy Haesten shows up, pretend you’re not there or call me.” 

“I’m assuming I’ll know them when I see them?” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m sure this will the only time I have to deal with one of them.” Getting to her feet, she lent down to hug him goodbye. “I’d better run before she gets any ideas!” 

“Yea, yea. I mean it. Call me. Or even just text me every once in a while.” 

She winked with a nod and he returned it with a smirk, watching her leave just as her mother started towards her. 

***

“Fuck!” Sig grabbed him by the lapel. “Go! Go! Go!” 

They just barely ducked the shots fired at them and dove behind a crate. 

“Shit!” Sig had his gun out already. “What the hell is going on?!”

He pulled his own Glock. “Looks like they’re not here for any talking.” 

“No shit?” His brother returned fire and there was definitely a cry of pain from the other end of the warehouse. 

“Ha!” He whooped, ducking back down. “What the fuck is going on? - What the Japs sold us out to the Saxons?” 

“No idea.” Erik was busy looking for an exit route. “Figure it out later. Cover me!” He made for the doorway he had spotted, praying that it would open and not be locked from the outside. 

He slammed through it, but before he could even take a breath, bring up his gun to be able to provide cover from behind it so that his brother could move as well, he heard him yowl in pain. 

Sig was still behind the crate, cradling his right hand and writhing in pain. There was a lot of blood already. 

“Shit!” He did not know what he was firing at, but placed a few shots anyway, trying to use the doorframe for cover. “Get up! Come on, get up!” If he had to go in there and drag him out, they were both toast. 

It felt like an age but eventually, Sig met his eyes, nodded and somehow hauled himself to his feet while he provided as much cover as he could. He had a better view from this spot and there were definitely guys up on the gallery. 

They had clearly never intended anything but set up a trap for them. 

Sig was still swearing when he stumbled into him and he quickly pulled him out of the line of fire and around the back of the building. 

“Get on the bike! You can’t drive like this.” He dragged him behind him onto the bike. “Get on!” 

“I’m not leaving my baby!” 

“The fuck you’re not, get on!” For a moment Sig looked ready to totter back towards his own bike but then he swayed forward, blood-loss or pain getting to him. 

“Ok, fuck.” He groaned and held on with his good hand as he pulled off, racing for the smaller alleyways just in case. 

He would have to take a look at the bleeding soon but for now, they just needed to get away. 

***

There was no choice, he had to take him to the hospital. 

Sig was, of course, not having any of it, half-delirious as he was from pain and blood-loss. He was slumped in his chair at the clubhouse, the thick bandage Dag had wrapped around his hand already seeped with red again and grumbling curses, guzzling down from the bottle of bourbon he had been handed, every so often.

“Bullet wounds mean police.” He grunted.

“I don’t care, you could lose your damn hand and then you’ll never ride again.” He shut any argument that might come down and pulled him back to his feet. “You’re half-drunk already. We’ll say you were messing around with your gun and fucked up.” 

“The sheriff isn’t gonna buy that.” Haesten protested from his spot by the door. He had been the one to hand Sig the alcohol, staying out of the way otherwise. 

“It’s not like he can prove otherwise.” He propped up his brother a little better so he could look him in the eye. “You got a license for this one, remember? It’ll be fine. Just trust me.” 

He fumbled the gun out of the back of his brother’s waistband and aimed it at the wood flooring, firing a quick shot through it into the dirt under the building. “There. If the caliber is different, I’ll just bribe the doctor.”

“I’ll get the car.” Dag pushed Sithric, who had been staring at the whole scene, towards the back. “You can clean up this mess.” 

The kid did as he was told, with only one more glance at the two of them, unsure. Erik gave him a reassuring nod.

“This is a bad idea.” Haesten grunted. “We don’t need this kind of attention. All they’d have to do is get inside the hospital and finish the job.” 

“Then you are gonna make damn sure we’ll have two of us there at all times as long as they keep him!” He did not have time for this, his brother was resting most of his weight on him already, he needed to get him into the car. 

“They know he’s got shot. They might even be waiting there already!” Haesten was still going, arms crossed and utterly useless but whining. “It should be the president himself who decides or we take a -.”

“Will you shut the fuck up?!” Erik snapped, halfway to the door but turning back, Sig stumbling and sagging into him. 

“Are you really questioning my authority? Now?!” He pressed. “Because it’s a fucked up time to do it!”

Haesten said nothing, just looked shifty and unhappy. 

“D-do as he says.” Sig slurred against his shoulder. “Shit, j-just let’s go already.”

Shooting Haesten another glare, they made their way out to the car. He took the bottle his brother had still been cradling and threw it to the curb before bundling him into the back. 

He slid into the passenger seat. “Let’s go.” 

***

“Hey.” She had heard the bike pull up and wandered out to meet him. 

“Hey.” He reached into one of his saddlebags and held up a second helmet, eyebrow raised in question. 

Grinning, she pointed back at the garage. “Let me lock up real quick.” 

She had only ridden on a motorbike the once. Uhtred had taken her on a quick trip around the block, the summer after she had finished high-school. He had been 19 and already working on infiltrating the MC and she had been keen to celebrate her acceptance into Yale. 

This time, as they sped down the road she realized it was a different thing altogether to really go for a drive while riding pillion. It was exhilarating. 

She had her arms wrapped around Erik’s middle and it did not take long for her to work out how to move with each turn, how to feel out the balance of the bike as they rode along for perhaps an hour or even longer. 

It did not really matter to her. She enjoyed the air, the landscape flying past her and the fact that she felt utterly safe with her chin resting on his shoulder, hugging herself closer. 

For all she cared, they could have gone on like this forever but when the sun started to set, he pulled over into an overlook and taking off his helmet and shades, turned to her. 

She smiled. “Thanks for the ride.” 

“I… thanks for coming with me.” He licked his lips like he wanted to say more but then seemed to change his mind and instead hung the helmet from the handlebars, dumping the sunglasses in it. “I needed to get away but I didn’t wanna be alone either.” 

“Something happen?” 

“Yea.” He sighed as he turned off the engine, which had been idling until then and put the bike on its kickstand. “My brother got shot. He’s at the hospital. Might lose use of his hand.” 

“What? How?” She got off the bike, and took her helmet off, feeling a bit silly with it still on when they were not driving. 

Erik too dismounted, leaning against the machine instead. “It’s better if you don’t know.” 

She did not know what to say. “Shouldn’t you be there?” 

Grimacing he shook his head. “He’s high on painkillers but still his usual pain in the ass and I might have ended up strangling him if I hadn’t left.” 

“The poor nurses.” She joked a little weakly. 

That earned her a little chuckle. “Yea, well, nothing I can do about that. He’s got a bunch of surgeries scheduled to try and fix him up so it’s gonna be…” He trailed off, made a frustrated sound. 

“Okay.” She came back to also lean against the bike and placed her hand over his where it rested on the seat. “This is a nice view. Do you come out here often?” 

“Nah, just thought it’d be nice to watch the sunset here.” He looked at her from the side, as if hoping for approval. 

It made her giggle. “You sir, are adorable.” 

He spluttered a little, pulling away just enough to cross his arms and frowned at the horizon. “That’s not an adjective I get a lot these days, but I guess I’ll take it.” 

It made her laugh out loud properly. “I’m sorry. You just…”

“What?” 

She snorted another laugh at his scandalized face.

“Are you laughing at me?” That fact that he was laughing too, sort of ruined the act he was trying to put on. 

“Nope.” And feeling giddy, she moved to stand in front of him and dropped her voice. “Wouldn’t ever make fun of the big bad biker man.” 

“Yea, real funny.” He was smiling though, a little helplessly and uncrossed his arms again to reach for her, pulling her closer. 

She let him kiss her for exactly five seconds, before pulling away again. “I thought we were gonna watch the sunset.” 

He dropped his forehead to her shoulder, exasperated and growled a little. “Really?!” 

Feeling quite proud of herself, Fleda pressed a kiss to the shaven side of his head. “Feel better?” 

He took a few deep breaths before straightening to meet her gaze. “Lots.” 

***


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is more fluff and also surprisingly more plot. :)

“So what I’m getting from this is that I should maybe think about writing a young adult novel or a tv show.” She joked, handing over the pizza box and biting into her slice. “We have a whole tragic love story in our heads. We should try selling it.” 

He rolled his eyes, still trying to follow the show they had been watching, splayed out on one side of her little sofa. “At most, it’s a movie script. I don’t think you could fill a book.” 

Since Sig’s injury, he had slipped away as often as he could, coming to watch her work, taking her on rides out in the country on his bike or simply turning up with take-out, so they could watch a show or movie together. 

Club-business was on hold while they tried to get their bearings on how to avoid the Saxons and still honoring all their commitments. Also, his brother was driving him up a wall about the loss of his bike and his anger issues had only suffered with the cast his mangled hand was in. 

“Spoilsport.” She finished her pizza in silence and tried to get back into the show too. Truthfully, she was still bothered by these ‘memories’. The dreams had become fewer with time but they had not fully gone away, yet. What if they stopped?

“I tried making a timeline.” She admitted. 

Mouth full, he grunted articulately. More often than not, he would try to distract her from this topic. She could tell that he was still not entirely comfortable with how their relationship had started because of some past life memories.

“There’s still bits missing. But it’s also weird that neither of us remembers more about our lives other than when we were together.” 

“You do though.” He was not looking at her, wiping his fingers on a paper napkin, so he did not see her flinch. 

“Yea.” She did. She remembered moments from after he had died. They still did not know how it happened. Just that it must have been in a fire and perhaps some sort of battle. 

“Looks like I got the short end of the stick a bit.” He noted. “No memories without you, I died and on top of that, no mention in the history books.” 

She knew he was trying to tease her but it fell flat with her current state of mind even though she too had tried to make light of it earlier. 

“Hey.” He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. “I think maybe we should just let all those dreams be dreams. I’m glad I found you again but what’s the point in worrying about past lives?” 

She dug her nose into his shirt collar and sighed. “It’s just bugging me. Like there’s something I’m supposed to see or know.” 

For a while he did not say anything but she could tell he was mulling something over. “Have you thought that maybe someone out there is being kind to us? I’m not sure I wanna remember my own death.” 

“So the powers that be are selective about what we remember?” She did not believe it. Something was not right about this. 

He rubbed at his eyes. “I don’t know. Look, can we just not talk about this for a bit?” 

“Sorry.” She drew comforting circles into his chest where she was leaning against him. “How’s your brother?” 

“Better. They think he’ll be able to ride a bike again if he keeps up the physio.” 

“Is he still taking it out on you?” 

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Yea, you do.” 

He huffed a breath. “Look, I just want to not worry about anything for a while, ok?” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s not…” He noticeably tried to reign himself in. “Just sit with me and watch this for a bit?” 

She shifted so that they were both more reclined on the sofa and placed her hand over his where he had his arm around her. “You know I’m just worried about you, right? You can tell me if… if something’s going on.” 

“Yea, I know.” He took her hand, playing with their entangled fingers. “I will tell you. Just not tonight, ok?” 

“Ok.” 

*** _  
“I had a wife.” He said as he placed down the bowl of gruel that he had come to bring her._

_She had stood when the door had opened and watched as he stepped back, eyes downcast and tense. “In Jorvik*.” He added, swallowing hard. “When we lost it, they slaughtered her on the steps of my brother’s hall.”_

_It was obvious there was more he wanted to say but struggled with the words._

_“We had gone to fight the Scots and I promised to bring her back a beautiful wool coat for the winter.” His eyes flickered up to her briefly and there were unshed tears there like he had ripped open an old wound, making it bleed anew. “I burnt it. It was the only burial I could give her.”_

_It felt inappropriate to offer the comfort she wanted, to reach for him, with his grief for a dead woman on display as it was, but she could hardly bear the way he had exposed this weakness to her so freely. “I’m so sorry.” It was utterly inadequate._

_She gestured to the single stool in her cell. “Will you sit?”_

_He glanced over his shoulder at the door, perhaps to check if the guards could hear or to collect himself, sniffing roughly and then did sink onto the seat._

_She too sat on the corner of her cot._

_“I thought I should tell you.” He muttered, looking like he was awaiting some reaction._

_This time she did dare reach for his hand and he did not resist, letting her trace circles into his calloused palm._

_“Thank you for sharing this with me.” She tried, her voice hoarse because she was so touched by the trust he placed in her._

_He tried to smile, but failed, still avoiding her eyes._

_“Did you have children?” She asked because she could not help herself. Of course this man, this warlord had a harsh, long past. He had traveled, raided, won and lost in his life and still he could be kind and gentle as he was with her._

_He was staring at their hands, jaw working and caught her fingers to lace them through his. “She was carrying our first. I’d wanted to be back in time.” A helpless little shrug._

_She remembered well, how all of Wessex had celebrated the ‘liberation of Eoforwic’. The loss of life and sorrow it had caused for others was not something she had considered at the time._

_When he finally looked up, he must have caught the sadness in her gaze because he squeezed her hand, lifting it to press a kiss to her wrist._

_“It is the past.” He told her like it was on him to console her. “I simply did not think I would ever feel this way again.”_

_This time, though tentative, his smile was genuine. “You are precious, lady. And the most peculiar thing I have found on this island.”_

_She found herself smiling back before she was aware of it, warmth spreading through her._

***

“I told you that?” He asked as he filled her coffeemaker’s water tank. She handed him a donut just when he had switched it on. 

There was an easy routine to the mornings they shared when he managed to stay the night. Neither was really sure when that had happened but it was comforting either way. 

“You did.” She insisted, mouth full with her own chocolate-glazed donut and rinsing out two mugs because she had forgotten to do the dishes last night. 

“Huh.” He leaned against the counter, frowning. “I don’t remember her.” 

Sighing, she nodded, putting the mugs down and sitting at the table, resting her head in her hands. “It’s sad.”

“Yea.” He watched the coffee drip through for a moment, thinking. “Maybe that’s the point though.” 

“What do you mean?” 

He bit his lip and turned to contemplate her instead. “They’re us, but we’re not them.” 

She blinked, her brain not yet awake enough to follow that sort of train of thought. “What?” 

Shaking his head, he crouched in front of her. “These dreams, these memories, they’re from another life, other people. I never had a wife. I had a couple of girlfriends, sure, but it never lasted. You and me? I’ve never had this.” 

Despite herself, she smiled. “You’re sweet.” 

He cupped her cheek. “I mean it.” The sincere expression in his eyes was almost painful to look at. 

She gulped, feeling herself tear up. 

“I love you.” He breathed. 

The tears started dripping. 

“And it’s not because of some half-remembered life, sweetheart, okay? That might have started it, but the last couple of months, you’ve kept me sane with everything that’s been happening and I can't imagine being without you anymore.” 

Sniffing, she slid forward so she could cup his cheek, move in closer. She opened her mouth but the words were stuck in her throat. 

Closing her eyes, she cleared her throat, tried again. “I love you too.” It was half a sob. “This you. The now you. Not this man who my past self must have seen die in front of her eyes. This you, who feeds me caffeine when I’m grumpy, who’s totally into old sci-fi and fantasy books, who’s stupidly patient with me even if I don’t deserve it.” 

When he pulled her close, she toppled forward into his lap and he fell back with a loud thud onto the linoleum but neither cared even a little. 

They giggled and then breathed each other, their noses brushing and just being in the present together. 

***

They had separated. One group with the shipment, the others as a distraction. After, he would wonder how bad an idea that had really been, if this could have been avoided. 

He had been running point for the van, with Sig, despite his protests doing the distraction. It just made more sense for them to think that the President would be with the real merchandise. 

He had just wrapped up the uneventful delivery when his phone buzzed. “They got Dag.” Sig spat down the line.

“What do you mean they got him?” He sat on his bike, gesturing for the others to start theirs up so they could get going while he was on the phone. 

“They ran him off his bike.” 

He froze. “What? Is he alright?” 

“He’s fucking dead!” Sig was losing his shit, and his own mind was racing. “I tried to… Fuck, Erik, he died right after I dragged him off the road. They were coming around for another go, smashed the bike and kept going.” 

“Who was it?” 

“Fucking giant truck, I don’t know!!” There were voices in the background, sirens in the distance. 

“Stay there, don’t fuck with the police. I’ll send the others back and meet you there.” 

“I can handle the arseling!” 

“I’ll be there anyway!” He snapped right back, flipping the burner shut and turning to the others. “Change of plans. You go back alone!” 

“What happened?” Haesten was staring at him. 

“I’ll fill you in when I know more.” He started the engine. “Just go back to the clubhouse!” 

Haesten made to protest but this time when he received a glare, he let it be. 

***

To call the situation he found a cluster-fuck would have been putting it nicely. 

There was a gun in Sig’s hand and he was gesturing with it wildly while yelling at Hild who was thankfully not letting him provoke her. 

Behind her was an ambulance but they were already packing up and another black van stood next to it into which a black bag was just being loaded. He bit down on the emotions that threatened to well up. He could not afford them right then. He could not think of Dag.

With another look at the deputy, he took only one more second to gather himself before parking his bike and walking towards her and his brother. 

“Sig, hey, easy.” He put his hand over the gun, firmly pushing it down only for his brother to lash out at him and push him away, with the hand still in a splint, without thinking. The pain instantly had him drop the weapon to clutch at the healing injury instead.

“FUCK!” There was blind fury in his brother’s eyes. “The fuck you do that for?!” 

He held up his hands, trying to placate. “Sig, come on, this isn’t helping.” 

“I want them to run the fucking plates for us! If it’s the damn Saxons again I’m gonna-“ Sig turned back to the silently watching deputy, ready to stalk back towards her. 

“Hey! Look at me!” He pulled him back in by the jacket, fully aware that he might get a fist to the face for it but they could not risk an arrest after everything else. Somehow his brother let him wrestle him back into a half-hug, half-restraining grip. 

He lowered his voice into a harsh whisper. “Let it go. We’ll figure it out ourselves.” Clapping him on the back, he stepped away and met Hild’s gaze.

She looked somewhere between sympathetic and fed up. “I could always put your brother into a cell for a night if he refuses to calm down.” 

“Dag was a club-member. We’re all brothers. He’s just angry.” He shot a look over his shoulder and noted Sig was stomping away in the opposite direction. It seemed for once he was using his brain. 

“I understand that.” She sighed. “I still need to have some questions answered.” 

Nodding, he looked over to where Sithric was lingering by the parked bikes. He wondered if the kid would give back his prospect patch any time soon. He would not blame him. 

“Alright, talk to the kid, he was here too. I’ll handle my brother.” 

Her eyes narrowed at him but she turned to go. “See that you do. We’ll speak later, I’m sure.” 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Jorvik was actually under Viking rule for something like 100 years. There’s a good chance that Show-Erik and Show-Sigefrid actually pretty much grew up there and losing it could be what made them become sword-Danes in the first place.  
> With the way that Sigefrid at least is referred to as Earl at least once in the show (plus the 'king-tent' moment), I cannot see them not having their pick of women and Viking culture is actually all about getting married. If men don’t marry they were said to ‘flee from the vagina’ (or something like that) which like… amuses me massively for some reason in this context.  
> Now I can see Sigefrid not giving a shit but with Erik even mentioning he’s in the market for a wife, I thought…. hmmm… can I make this work?  
> I think there’s nothing in the show that speaks against it, and it has been a bit of a headcanon of mine so I've included it here. I also did warn you that I'd combine show-canon and history for this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More plot and Erik has some things to think about. 
> 
> Warning for casual sexism but if y'all have seen SoA, then you should be expecting it.

***

He was sitting in a corner by himself, which was not all that unusual, watching the others drink to Dag and mess around with a few of the girls. They were used to his ‘thinking moods’ as Sig liked to call them, so he could get away with brooding a little. 

His brother had been happily occupied with one of his favorite blondes by the bar but had apparently spotted him and decided that he was drunk enough to forgive him finally for the way he had spoken to him in front of the deputy. He had been sore about that for days. 

One arm around the girl, he grabbed another one at random with his good hand. She had been deep in conversation with Sithric, Erik noted but knew better than to protest and followed along with a bright but pained smile. 

“C’mon little brother, I know it’s a wake but we have to do Dag justice here.” Sig pushed the girl into his lap with a little too much enthusiasm, before sitting across from him with the blonde still firmly attached to his neck. 

Erik had to catch the girl so she did not hurt herself. He steadied her when she swayed a little with wide eyes, whether it was alcohol or nerves, he could not tell. She was not one of the regulars, at least he had not seen her around too much. Glancing over, he saw Sithric slink towards the back with a mournful look on his face. 

With an eye-roll in the direction of his brother, he helped her back on her feet. “Go and teach the prospect a few things, honey.” He told her with a wink and sent her on her way, despite Sig’s protest. 

“I can get my own women.” He told him and downed his beer because he was admittedly far too sober for any of this. 

“I know you can, but will you?” His brother detached himself from his hanger-on for a moment to lean in. “And you’re too soft on the prospect. Why should he get dibs on the new pussy?” 

“Why not? With everything that’s going on, he’s shown his worth. He hasn’t quit yet.” 

“Doesn’t mean he’s ready to be patched in. He’s still too squeamish for men’s work.” 

“He’ll get there, he’s just a kid.” 

“When I was his age, I’d earned my mayhem patch already.” Sig bragged half to the blonde who was looking just a tad bored and probably feeling neglected. 

“When you were his age, you’d come up with that gambling thing and uncle Dan* got you a brand new bike just because he was so impressed.” 

Erik could not help but grin. “That ‘gambling thing’? I set up high stakes poker games that made the club a fortune.” 

“Yea, yea, with - what was her name? That tough chick…?” 

“Jessica.” He had not thought of her in a while. She had taken the fall for the business they had set up together a few months after they had moved to California. He had had a feeling his uncle had been involved and she had tried to contact him at one point, but there had been nothing he could have done. The club would not have let him. 

“That was it.” Sig’s eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers. “Hey babe, go find my brother a girl. A redhead.” He slapped her ass as she went. 

Erik felt like he should remember her name since she was always around but he really did not. 

He glared a little at his brother, Jessica had been a redhead but that was completely beside the point. 

“You ever wonder what we’d do if we didn’t have the club?” The words came out before he could stop himself. 

Sig looked taken aback. “You sure are feeling morbid, huh? Useless white trash is what we’d be.” He paused. “Well, I’d be white trash. You were pretty good at school. Might have even made college.” 

He was surprised to hear his brother say that. “You think?” 

“Fuck yeah, I mean mom did. She had a fund set up and everything.”

“I - I had no idea.” There was something stuck in his throat. 

Sig’s eyes were soft too. “Yea, she had to use it for the chemo in the end. I remember she cried like hell.” 

“But uncle Dan said he took care of all that.” 

“And he did after she…” Sig stole a bottle of Jack from a passing tray and took a swig instead of finishing the sentence. He did not need to. “He just didn’t refill the fund. You were on your way to being a prospect at that point anyhow.” 

Erik took the offered bottle from him, taking a deep drink himself. “But mom wanted me to go to college…” 

She had never told him as much. Admittedly their uncle had stepped in once the treatments had started taking their toll and they had spent little time at home with her alone. He had mostly taken him along whenever he and Sig had been at the club. It had just made sense for him to follow his big brother around. 

“I think she did, yea.” His brother waved away the giggling girls coming over towards them and their faces dropped but they did as told. “Listen, I never told you this, but she had high hopes for you. Not that it matters now.” 

“Why didn’t you?”

“What?”

“Tell me?”

Sig looked a little confused still like he was not sure why Erik was acting the way he was. Like what he had just told him really was not such a big deal. 

“I did now, didn’t I?” He frowned, plucking the bottle out of his hand again. “It doesn’t matter though, you and I were always gonna be in this together anyway. I need you with me. I keep telling you that, right?” 

It took him perhaps a moment too long. If Sig had not been drinking, he might have picked up on it. Eventually, he got his features to co-operate and he gave him a half-hearted smile. “Yea, so you keep saying.” 

Thankfully Sig was distracted enough by the fact that his girl and the other one she had dragged along had placed themselves right across the wall from them and were making out with each other. The way Sig’s girl especially was eyeing up both of them, made Erik think she might be hoping to convince both brothers into coming to play. 

“I’m gonna call it a night.” He turned back to his brother and this time stole the bottle back for good from his slack hand. It was the only company he was going to take upstairs with him. The little den-room under the roof should be quiet enough even with the party down here and he had plenty to think about. 

***

She had been watching TV because it was one of those nights that had consisted of nothing but tossing and turning and she just decided to give up on it altogether. She had been messing around on her phone too and that was why she even saw his call. 

“Hey, how was the funeral?” 

“As good as can be expected.” There was something off about his voice. 

She paused her show. “Everything okay?” 

There was a pause. “Just needed to hear your voice.” 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” 

“I’m okay.” He said around a deep breath. 

“Okay.” She still felt like he was not telling her everything. “I miss you.” 

It had been over a week that he had been by. His brother would have gotten suspicious and he had to be there to de-escalate between the MC and the Sheriff’s Department. She understood that it did not mean she had to be happy about it. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, you don’t know how much I miss you right now.” His words sounded a little slurred and that made sense. He had been planning to stay at the clubhouse with everyone else.  
Of course, there would have been drinking.

She thought for a moment, wondering if this might be going too far since he had been so careful to keep her away from the MC. “I could always come pick you up?” 

“You not in bed yet?” He asked, sounding like he only then realized what the time was. “Wait, did I wake you?” 

That made her laugh at him. He had definitely had too much to drink. “No, I was up. Couldn’t sleep.” In fact, she could only really sleep well when he was next to her but that was not something she needed to tell him right this moment. “You want me to come get you?” 

He hesitated. “It’s a 20-minute drive.” 

“Yea, I don’t mind. You can talk to me while I’m in the car if you want.” She was half-sure he was going to turn her down. 

“Ugh, fuck, I really, really want you to.” He sounded muffled like maybe he was hiding his face in a pillow, almost like a little boy. 

“You still at the clubhouse?” She asked just to be sure, trying not to be too amused, already grabbing the few things she needed and walking through the door. 

“Yea.” It almost sounded like a whine. She grinned. 

“What’s going on?” 

At first, he did not respond, just kept breathing into the phone. She hoped he did not fall asleep on her and her trip would be for nothing. Either way, she started the car. 

“You know when you dropped out of college?” He eventually spoke up again. “How could you tell if it was the thing you wanted to do and staying would have been what everyone else wanted you to do?” 

“I didn’t know much of anything back then. I just knew I needed to change something.” She put him on speaker and reversed out of the garage. 

He hummed and there was some shuffling. “I’m gonna go get out round the back, walk to the end of the block. You know how to get there?” 

“Yea, Quit acting like I haven’t lived here for way longer than you.” 

It was gratifying to hear him chuckle even if it was half-hearted. 

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but… talk to me?” 

A pause and loud music in the background for a split-second before it faded abruptly like he had closed a door. Again he did not say anything for a while and she was just about to open her mouth again when he cleared his throat.

“Did I ever tell you that my mom had cancer, too? Breast-cancer?” 

“No, no, you didn’t.” 

“Yea… I must’ve been fifteen, I think? She got diagnosed and… she didn’t… she didn’t even make it another year.” His voice was thick and he sniffed. 

“I’m sorry.” She swallowed, trying not to be tempted into speeding but taking a turn that promised to be a bit of a short-cut. 

“Yea, well…” The words were even more garbled but she was not sure if it was from drinking or grief. “Just… thought I was over it but uhm…”

“Did you get to say goodbye to her?” She dared ask after driving in silence a bit. 

“I wouldn’t leave her.” She could tell he was fighting to keep himself together. “Sig dragged me out the room and told me to go sleep. She… she died that night. I remember yelling at him because she - uhm - she was all alone in the end…” 

She clamped down on her own experience of hospital rooms, of the waiting. She knew exactly what that must have been like for him but still, she had been a grown-up when her father passed, not just a teenage boy who was watching his mom, his only remaining parent, slip away. 

“I’m turning into the street.” She noted into the long silence that had only been interrupted by vague sniffs. 

“Yea, I see you.” A shadow peeled from the back of the clubhouse and crossed the parking lot to approach where she rolled up to the curb. “Nice car.” 

“Yea, thought she needed to be moved a bit.” She hung up and looked over as he slid into the passenger seat with a deep exhale. The smell of alcohol was clinging to him and his eyes were glassy but he barely fumbled with the seatbelt. 

“Didn’t know you had two cars.” He muttered, eyes closed as he leaned back in the seat and looking like he was taking the first deep breath all day. 

Checking her mirrors, she left him to it for a moment and made a quick u-turn. 

“It was dad’s.” the words surprised her. She had not explained the cobra to anyone since her mother had flat out told her to get rid of it and donate the money to the church. A rant had followed about how she needed to come back and attend every Sunday too. 

She could tell Erik was staring at her. “He’d been meaning to fix it up… kept putting it off. It was out back at the garage…” 

“So you did it.” 

“Yea.” She clenched her hands around the steering wheel. “Shame about the car, you know.” 

They drove in silence after that, her focused on the road and him staring out the window or asleep, she was not sure. 

When she pulled into the garage, he sighed and stretched, before getting out and waiting for her to turn the engine off, lock up and cover the little sports-car back up. He looked almost furtive, hands in his pockets like he did not know what he was doing. 

“Shower then bed?” She asked as she turned to the stairs with a teasing look over her shoulder. “I love you but you look pretty wrecked and you smell like a brewery.” 

At least she received a half-smile in return and he nodded. 

*** __

_“Get her out of here!”_

_Pain like a punch straight to the heart._

_Agony as the blade was ripped back out._

_His brother holding him up, falling to their knees together._

He shot up in bed, feeling like he had not been breathing for hours. His hands scrabbled over his chest, predictably not finding the wound that was somehow still aching. 

Looking over, he found that Fleda was still sleeping soundly.

He rubbed his eyes, head aching and contemplated if he would be able to go back to sleep. 

His thoughts were running wild, never mind the odd dream. He was not sure if it was one of their ‘past life dreams’ or not. It had felt like one but it had been much more incoherent than the other ones, much less like the vivid memories he had gotten used to. 

With a sigh, he moved to get up but paused when Fleda turned over. 

“Where you goin’?” She mumbled, still half-asleep. 

“Go back to sleep.” 

Even in the dark, he could see her crack open a suspicious eye. “You leaving?” 

“No, sweetheart.” He reached back to stroke through her rumpled hair. “Not going anywhere.” 

Of course, she was not having any of it. “What’s wrong?” She too sat up. 

“Just had a bad dream.” It did not sound convincing even to his own ears. 

When she hugged him from behind, he let himself melt into her. 

“I think we need to be more careful about seeing each other.” He said reluctantly, something he had been thinking about for a while. They had agreed to keep her away from the clubhouse but with everything that was going on, his instinct to keep this from his brother had proven to be a good one. 

“Are you gonna tell me now? Your brother getting shot in the hand, one of your guys dying in a crash… it doesn’t sound like a coincidence.” She rested her chin on his shoulder and he ducked down enough to raise both their hands to press a kiss to her fingers. 

“It’s a little complicated right now. I don’t want you to get caught up in it.” 

“Huh, by now you should know that’s not gonna cut it.” She extracted her hand and poked him in the side. 

Despite not wanting to, it made him smile. “Stubborn woman.”

“You love it.” She poked him again. “Now spill.” 

Taking a deep breath he gave in. “The Saxons are moving in on us. They’ve been sabotaging deliveries and they’re the ones who killed Dag. “ 

“Why? What do they want?” 

“I don't know.” He hesitated again. “They always stayed out of our way. Their pres is kind of scared of Sig.” He gave a little sheepish grin but she did not seem to find that amusing. "This is pretty much as out of character as it gets for him, so something else's got to be going on and I don't like it." 

“Huh.”

He nosed into her neck but she got up on her knees and kneaded at the knots in his shoulders he had not even realized were there. “The real problem is that I won’t be able to talk Sig down much longer. He’s gonna want to declare war on them. But we should know what it is we’re really up against first.” 

Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, she seemed to be thinking it through, easing up on her impromptu massage. He somehow managed not to whine in protest. 

“Ok, so I stay as far away from that as I can. That’s not gonna be a problem, I avoid coming into town and you just come to mine most of the time anyway. We’ll just keep it like that for now.” She cupped his face to catch his eyes. “But what are you going to do to avoid getting shot?” 

She looked all business but he knew she was worried about him. He knocked his forehead against hers gently. “Do what I’ve been doing for most of my life. Keep my brother from getting into too much trouble.” 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uncle Dan = Halfdan Ragnarson - I’m stealing his name and they are now related, in this life I make the rules!


	9. Chapter 9

***

The scene was a blood bath. 

The car was riddled in bullet holes and when Uhtred saw the body, he had to take a moment. There had been a lot he had seen and done when he had been working undercover. Old Ragnar had been a tough president but this was something else, this was more Kjartan’s MO and he was dead. 

“Broad daylight. They wanted to make sure the message was seen.” Finan noted. 

“Yea.” He sighed. “Please tell me Hild got to the daycare in time.” 

The coroner was lifting the body out of the car and placing it on the gurney. The woman had been hit in one eye, he hoped it had killed her before the other shots had slammed into her. 

“She did. She’s bringing the kids to the station.” 

The zipper of the black bag covered the bloody mess they had been left with and it was wheeled away. 

There was still the ripped up interior with the crimson stains. Some of the leather was almost dripping with it. 

“Thank fuck.” He turned on his heels and went back to the patrol car. Finan followed him. 

“Our anonymous caller gonna be ok?” He asked as they settled in for the ride back to the station. 

“Hope so. Nothing I can do.” Uhtred shifted, chewed his lip. “The Feds are being helpful as ever.” 

***  
Hild stopped him rather forcefully, meeting them by the door. “You need to have a look at this.” She hissed and dragged him into her office. 

“These are phone-records from the County jail and I checked, Gee’s been to visit there almost every week over the last few months, almost always just before another incident between his club and the Wolves.” 

“Ok?” He was not entirely sure what she was getting at. 

“Right, well there was a prisoner transfer a while back and I think you know this guy.” She opened a file and turned it right side around for him to see. The mugshot was not what he had been expecting. 

“Fuck.” He muttered. 

Hild was already moving back into the main area again, giving him a moment. 

His mind was racing as he stared at the information before him. If Hild was right, then this was not simply a brewing gang-war, but something more complex was going on behind the scenes. 

This was too big for their little department. The Feds would turn up sooner or later and really, with the way this was going, he would welcome them.

“I’ve got the kids.” Hild told him, having returned with the baby on her arm. “Better to deliver the news quickly.” Uthred nodded but stalled. They had only just gotten back in. 

The station was quiet, the seismic shift the attack had created not yet apparent. 

“We’re gonna have a lot more work soon.” He noted. 

She sighed but nodded. 

He scratched at his brow. “Yea, I’m gonna make a few calls when I get back.” 

Hild gave him a look. “You’re not gonna tell…” 

“No. But they won’t need telling. I’m gonna take Finan and Hal along. Just in case.” He checked his gun. “They might think I’m trying to pull something on them.” 

She chuckled. “Yes, because sending most of the club to jail was just a very clever ploy to establish a Wolf sheriff.” 

With a wry grin, he shrugged. “That’s what the old mayor thought.” 

They chuckled but when the baby fussed, quickly sobered, looking also over at the little boy coloring at Hild’s desk. 

Uhtred huffed a breath and patted her on the back before going to gather the other two officers. They could do little more than try to keep up with whatever would happen next. 

***

“Fleda?” 

Uhtred had been driving by and seen the Harley parked outside her garage. 

He knew his friend could take care of herself but with what he had just seen, he had driven only a little further before giving up and deciding that he would drop in on her anyway. 

It was not like they were not due a catch-up. In fact, he had seen and heard less and less from her for some time now. 

He knocked on the door that led up to her apartment on finding the garage empty. 

When there was no response he did start to feel worried. Her car was in the driveway after all and if she had had to leave during the day she usually put up a sign. 

She had given him a spare key a while back just in case and it was a matter of seconds for him to dig it out of his wallet. 

The sight that greeted him inside was absolutely not what he had been expecting. 

“You’ve gotta be shitting me!” He blurted, turning quickly to have his back to the scene. 

It was not like they had been in the middle of things, just napping comfortably in Fleda’s bed, her cradling her lover to her chest with him half on top of her. It was pretty obvious they were naked under those sheets from what he had glimpsed. 

“Damn it, Uhtred! Can’t you knock?” She snapped, defensively and there was the sound of hasty shuffling behind him. 

“I did.” He huffed, shifting uncomfortably. 

“That key is emergencies only!” 

“I know!” He was getting a headache. 

“Then what are you doing here?!” 

He pinched his nose. “I saw the bike in the driveway. I was… Jesus, when did you get a Fat Boy, man?” 

“I didn’t. I borrowed Haesten’s today.” It was the first time Erik spoke up. “I didn’t wanna use mine too much coming here. She’s a little obvious.” 

The sounds of shifting fabric behind him finished but he did not want to risk it. “Right, well - I was worried.” 

Fleda sighed loudly. “You can turn around now, Uhtred.” 

“I don’t know if I want to.” He snarked but did so anyway, putting his hands on his duty belt. “How long has this been going on?” 

Fleda was sitting on the end of her bed in sweats and a t-shirt much too big for her, arms crossed and clearly pissed off. Erik was looking shifty, just behind her, fiddling with his shirt sleeves, like a kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He guessed that was not too far from the truth. 

“A while.” His friend brought his attention back to her. 

He cleared his throat. “Well, thanks for the heads up.” Sarcasm was really all he had for this absurd situation. He looked back at Erik. “Were you here all morning?”

“It’s none of your business.” She snapped and frankly, he had had it. 

“No? Because Gee’s wife was shot a couple of hours ago and, fucking hell, Fleda I thought you might be dead with that bike out there and you nowhere to be found!” He barked. “I was worried!” 

That shut her up. 

“I was here.” Erik looked disoriented. “What happened?” 

“Your brother apparently decided he was gonna go after Gee’s family.” Uhtred noted the genuine surprise. “We got the kids in time. Couldn’t save his wife.” 

The blond muttered a curse and pulling out his phone to check it for messages and apparently found none. He started to type. Interesting. He had been kept out of the loop. That made more sense. 

“You’re not gonna arrest him, are you?” Fleda seemed ready to murder him if he so much as made a wrong move. He made a mental note that this was probably more serious than just a bit of a fling and that it probably had been longer than ‘a while’. 

“I’m not.” He allowed. “But I just talked to Gee himself and I didn’t tell him but he knows. So your boyfriend here better watch his back and maybe try and reign in his brother because whoever is pulling his strings is going to figure you boys just upped the ante.” 

She huffed but looked a little chastened. She threw up her hands in surrender. “So, now what?” 

He blinked at her. “I don’t know, you tell me.” 

Clearly, she was going to snap at him again but Erik placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezed a little and she immediately softened, looking to him instead. 

“We’d prefer to keep this quiet.” He turned to him and honestly, Uhtred was still trying to compute this thing between them. “You understand that, right, sheriff?” 

He narrowed his eyes at the taller man. “Your brother know about this or anyone else from the club?” 

He shook his head. “No. No-one.” A moment of sizing each other up. “You’re the only one who found out.” 

Uhtred sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Well, let’s make sure no-one else does.” He glanced at Fleda’s stony face and nodded. “I better get back to work.” 

“I need to get back too. Find out what’s going on.” Erik bent down and Fleda cupped his cheek as they kissed good-bye tenderly. 

He rolled his eyes at the gesture but waited for him to shrug his cut back on and lead the way outside. “We are still gonna have another chat.” He warned over his shoulder before following him. 

“Fine.” Fleda seemed to capitulate, letting herself fall back into bed like a sulking teen, just as the door closed behind them. 

As they descended the stairs, Uhtred could feel sharp blue eyes watching him closely.

“Why do you have her spare key?” 

Uhtred smirked at him. “Jealous, are we?” 

The other’s glare made him laugh outright. “Relax. We did use to date in Highschool. I’m pretty sure anyone in this town can tell you that, but we’re definitely better off as friends. No interest from either end.” 

Erik harrumphed, swinging his leg over his bike. 

He rolled his eyes. “I’m the only one she trusts with a spare key. You know who her mother is. The other kids are still drinking the kool-aid and Eddie is at college. She’s not got a lot of options.” 

The other man hung his head. “Yea.” He said, like it pained him. 

Uhtred scrutinized him a little longer. “She’s looking happier.” He noted airily. 

Their eyes met. 

“Not happy enough.” Erik said. 

Uhtred shrugged. “Yea. You wanna change that?” 

He hesitated, licked his lips and then put on his helmet and goggles like he was going on a mission. “If I can.” 

Before he could start up the engine, Uhtred stepped closer and placed his hand on one of the handlebars. “You know the reason I’m not threatening you right now is because I know she will kick your ass all by herself, you get that?” 

That got him a half-grin. “I know.” 

“You better keep her out of this mess.” 

“I will.” He turned over the engine. “It’s why no one can know I was here today.” 

“Good. They won’t hear it from me.” He moved out of the way and watched him drive off. 

He did not like this one bit. It could only end in tears. 

***

“The hell did you do?” Erik marched into the meeting room where his brother had been clearly discussing something with Haesten. 

They both looked up like he had caught them at something, like they were surprised to see him, even. 

“Not what we hoped to do anyway.” Sig squinted at him. “Where were you?” 

“Out for a ride.” 

“You’re taking a lot of rides lately. Long as fuck rides.” It sounded suspicious and Haesten was watching the exchange closely. 

Shooting him only a brief glance, he too sat in his chair. “I ran into the sheriff on the way back. When did we vote on taking out Gee’s family?” 

That only seemed to annoy Sig. “We didn’t, did we? The cops got to the daycare.” 

“Put a few holes in his old lady though.” Haesten snickered, looking incredibly satisfied. 

Erik turned to him, meeting his suspicious little eyes. “I want to speak to my brother alone.” 

When the Sergeant at Arms looked at his president, Sig nodded and he reluctantly left the room. 

For a long moment, Erik studied his brother. “Were you gonna kill those kids?” 

Sig finished his beer and placed the bottle down with a thump. “Yes.” He leaned back, studying him in turn. “Because I’m willing to do what has to be done.” 

There was no venom there, he was just stating facts as he saw them. 

“Are you saying I’m not?” Erik asked just as calmly. 

Sig did not acknowledge the question. “Where were you?” 

“I told you. I was out on a ride.” 

“We took the vote last night, you weren’t there either.” 

He licked his lips, refusing to look away from Sig’s probing gaze. “You could have called me.” 

Shaking his head, his brother only looked disappointed. “We needed to retaliate. It’s way past time we showed them what happens when you mess with us.” 

“They’re kids, Sig. They’ve got nothing to do with it.” His voice was flat. 

Slamming his hand on the table, Sig snarled at him. “They’ve been acting like they can walk right over us! Dag’s dead and you are too fucking soft to do anything about it.”

Erik stared. “We haven’t got the manpower to go to war with them, Sig.” 

“Bullshit! Gee is a little shit, he’s gonna fold like a house of cards now that we made clear how seriously fucked he is.” 

Narrowing his eyes, he did not back down. “That was not just making clear how fucked he is, you murdered his wife. We both agreed that he is not the one behind this. He and his men might be the thugs but someone out there’s got a bigger goal in mind.” 

“Yeah, well, this way they might come out of the woodwork.” Sig fiddled with his splint. “Look, someone blabbed. Someone in the club. I dunno how the cops knew to get to the daycare.” 

“Ok.” 

Sig blustered. “Ok?!” 

“Ok, we’ll figure it out.” He was not so sure, but what else was he going to say? “We always do.” 

Getting up, Sig stood behind him and grasped his shoulders, shaking him a little. “This has been a war for months. I know you didn’t wanna see it, but that’s what it is. I don’t know what’s been going on with you but I need you with me in this.” 

“Yea,” he managed, “yea, ok.” 

“Good, I need your brains. Can’t have a rat when we need to be focused.” 

***


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik makes a decision after another tragedy happens within 24hrs of the last one. some fluff but more h/c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really sorry?!?! Supporting Character Death in here. 
> 
> I'm still working through a lot of this modern Erik's development at the moment. It's a journey and for some reason seems to flow right now, so here have another update right now.

***

“Do you think we’ve lived more lives?” 

He sighed, re-adjusted the phone and took off his shades. He was sitting on a concrete block in the parking lot, behind the clubhouse. The sun was setting and it was the first time he had a moment to himself after trying to play his part as much as he could all day. 

There was utter suspicion between them all, the news of a rat having paralyzed the club. He had not been told anything else and it rankled that Haesten and Sig were going at this alone. Perhaps he should have seen this before but he had always trusted his brother. 

“Maybe. Maybe we just didn’t find each other so we don’t remember.” 

“So much for my mom’s faith in Jesus.” She was chuckling but it had sounded bitter. 

“I’m not good with religion.” 

“Yea, nor am I anymore.” He heard her sigh.

“Well, I’m glad I found you in this life either way.” He could not help but smile. 

“I miss you too.” There was a smile in her voice too. 

“Oh, yea? It’s only been a few hours.” 

“Yea. Now can we stop with the sappy?” 

“You like the sappy.” 

A groan from her end of the line. “We’ve been seeing each other for long enough now, that I can confidently say you’re way more sappy than me.” 

“That’s probably true.” He admitted. 

“We can trust Uhtred, you know.” So she had caught on to the tension in his voice. 

“It’s not him I’m worried about. The way things are going over here,… we better watch our backs.” 

“Maybe we should just run away together. Really make this into a movie script. I hate this town anyway.” 

Hearing the disdain again for her hometown, he dared voice what he had been thinking about for a while. “You know, you could always sell the garage and move, sweetheart. Get further away from your family, maybe closer to your friends on the East Coast? I could figure out a way to visit if you wanted.” 

She did not say anything for so long, he was sure he had overstepped. It was a raw subject and she never pressured him about the MC. 

“I… the East Coast doesn’t have the best kind of memories for me and my best friend moved to London. She sent me a card inviting me. But I don’t have the money right now and if I sell, I got nothing. I just need more time.” 

He knew that. The garage was not going terribly but it would be at least another year until she turned a profit and it had eaten up all her savings. She was just so miserable at times, he wished he could help her. 

“Maybe I’ll fly out there with you when you do visit her.” He tried instead. 

“I’d like that.” 

Behind him, the door banged open before he could say anything else. 

“Erik! What the fuck are you doing back here? We’re ready.” Sig frowned at him sitting there with his phone to his ear and his shades dangling from his fingers. “Who’re you talking to?” 

He stared right back at his brother but spoke into the phone. “Listen, I’ll call you back tomorrow, ok?” 

The clever woman that she was, Fleda said nothing and he terminated the call. 

His brother still looked suspicious. “Who the hell was that?” 

“This was me trying to convince the deputy that you were with me all yesterday.” He improvised.

“Huh.” Sig narrowed his eyes. “You know Haesten thought you might be the one who warned the sheriff.” 

“Yea?” Putting his phone away, he rolled his eyes. “Because I didn’t even know about your stupid plan.”

His brother clapped him on the shoulder. “Yea. He’s getting a little paranoid. On the up-side, he thinks he’s got some info to share.”

Raising an eyebrow, he did not need to say anything. Sig laughed and gave a feral grin. “Trust me, he might even surprise you.” 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” 

“You’ll see.” Sig pushed him roughly but playfully. “We’re not finished yet.” 

_“I need to wash away the taste of defeat.”_

Erik winced, his hand shooting up to the left side of his rib cage. It was a shooting, blinding pain and he could barely breathe for a moment then, doubling over. 

“What?” His brother pulled away, looking worried. 

“Nothing.” He rubbed at the spot as it passed. It was the same place as from his dream. “Must have pulled a muscle.” 

“Told you you gotta warm up before you start lifting.” Sig punched him in the shoulder and led the way back indoors.

_“How's the pain?”_

_“The same. Constant. It reminds me I am alive.”_

“You didn’t! I tell you that.” He managed a grin, tried to shake off the voices from another life as he followed him. 

***

_“It is Sigefrid's game.”_

_\- “I do not understand how it kills a man.”_

***

“What happened?” Fleda had the presence of mind to drag him indoors before anyone could see the blood dripping from his hands. 

Erik did not even try to speak, just stared into the middle distance as she led him to the sink, turning on the water and reaching for the soap. 

“Are you hurt?” 

He shook his head, letting her wash his hands docilely. 

“Ok.” She still looked him over, just in case before sitting him down on the sofa. “Tell me what happened.” 

“Sithric… Sig found out he was informing on us. I… it was…” He blinked slowly, shook his head. “I’ve seen a lot, Fleda. I’ve done a lot. They tortured the poor kid. Cut him up good before I even got there…” 

He looked green, rubbed his eyes. There was still blood under his nails.

Fleda did not know what to say. 

“Sig’s…” He looked up, eyes forlorn. “Fleda, he was gonna kill those kids if Sithric hadn’t.... and then…”

She moved in, pulling him into a hug because there really was nothing she could say. What worried her was how he fell into her, like a puppet with its strings cut off. Whatever had happened, it really had shaken him to the core. 

“Tell me what I can do?” She pressed her lips to the side of his head, holding him tight as he curled into her. “What do you need?” 

He shuddered. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m tired.” 

“Ok.” Her mind was racing. “Ok. Will you be missed?” 

Another head-shake. 

“Good. C’mon, let’s get you to bed.” 

She somehow coaxed him the few steps to her bed, helped him out of his clothes and climbed in with him. 

“That could have been us.” He whispered into the darkness after what felt like hours of them huddling under the blankets. “Those boys.”

“Don’t think about it now. Just go to sleep.” She told him, rubbing circles over his back where he lay curled around her. 

“That could have been us when we were kids if anyone’d decided to ….and he’d have - Sithric only tried to stop him from killing kids!” He kept speaking like he had not heard her. “I didn’t think…I should have... ” 

Her hand came up to cradle the back of his head where it lay against her shoulder. “Shhh… you’re rambling, baby. You’re scaring me a little here.” 

“It should have been me. I should have been there and talked him down.”

“And if you couldn’t have?” She urged, fingertips stroking a gentle pattern into his neck. “You didn’t do this. You’re not responsible for what your brother does.”

He took a couple of shaky breaths but did not respond to that. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t come here anymore. What if the Saxons find out about you and they decide - What if this time I have to watch you die?” 

“Why would anyone come after me?” She soothed, wrapping herself tighter around him and he in turn clung to her. “Only Uhtred knows we’ve been seeing each other. Don’t waste time worrying about me, when you gotta survive yourself.” 

“I’ll always worry about you.” 

“Yea, well this lifetime I’ll be the one worrying about you.” Her nose brushed his as she shifted a little because this knot of limbs was less comfortable than it was comforting.

“Do you remember it yet?” 

He tensed, knowing straight away what she meant. “No.” A long pause but she could not see his expression in the dark. “Do you?”

“No. Only after.” 

***

_“You have killed us both.”_

***

“Fleda says I can trust you.” Erik greeted Uhtred as he entered his own office. 

He blinked at the outlaw sitting in his chair like he belonged there before deciding to just go with it for the moment. 

“Ok, I’ll bite.” He said, letting himself fall into a visitor chair instead and deciding, as he shifted a little awkwardly that they definitely needed to get more comfortable ones. 

The blond man was playing with the Rubik's cube Hild had given him as a joke at their office Christmas party but he was watching him calculatingly. 

“I want out.” He eventually said, placing it down and Uhtred was a little peeved to see the thing was half-solved. 

“Out?”

“Out.” He looked a bit annoyed that he had to repeat himself.

Still, he should probably be more surprised than he actually was. At the same time, it was even more surprising that the whole town was not aware at this point that the Mayor’s black sheep of an eldest daughter was making time with the local MC’s vice president. 

“That’s gonna be a problem.” He noted. “Especially with the heat the Saxons and your brother brought down on us all.” 

Erik nodded but he clearly looked resolved. “This is the only chance I have.” 

“I can talk to the Feds on your behalf. Tell them there’s the chance of a new source. But you’re gonna be implicating yourself.” 

A shrug. “I’m willing to do my time. As long as I can get a fresh start afterwards.” 

“With Fleda.” 

“With Fleda.” He agreed, still studying his every reaction. 

Uhtred laughed. “You really care about her. Enough to do this.” Then he noticed the pensive look on the other’s face. “It won’t be easy and you’ll have people after you if we don’t get every single one of them.” 

“Like you did.” 

His good mood faded abruptly. “Yea, like I did.” 

“So you came back as the sheriff.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “You want my honest advice?” 

Erik visibly clenched his jaw, looking away but nodded. 

“Tell them you’re willing to deliver every single member and get an extremely reduced sentence for your cooperation, get your records scrubbed clean, hell, maybe even full immunity. They can make that happen. Then ask them for two passports to get out of the country. You’ll have to keep looking over your shoulders but you’re gonna be together.” 

He considered it for a long moment. Uhtred took the opportunity to study him in return. He looked far less cocky than when he had first met him, wilted somehow and obviously struggling to keep it together. 

“Fleda would come with me?” He asked and of course, that was his first worry. 

Uhtred pondered on how much to tell him. “Ask her, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be glad to disappear with you.” 

He looked like he wanted to ask but then just nodded, accepting. “They cannot find out it was me. You’ll arrest me like everyone else and stick me in a different prison.” 

Uhtred nodded and held out his hand for the other to shake. “I’ll put the cuffs on you personally.” He winked. 

Erik eyed the outstretched limb. “If anyone gets off easy and they come after us I will blame you entirely.” 

“I guess then that’s extra motivation for you to make sure that doesn’t happen.” He smirked at him. 

The man sighed and scratched the back of his neck in a more nervous gesture than Uhtred had ever seen him show. “Fleda will be safe too.” 

“Yes, she will be. I’ll make sure of it.” He was also going to do all he could to make sure there would be protection in prison for him, if only for Fleda’s sake. He was still in touch with Ragnar. He could help him out.“Deal?” 

This time Erik took the outstretched hand, shaking it with the determination of a desperate man. 

“About the kid.” He added as he got to his feet. “I… I tried to-“ he cleared his throat and shook his head. “That shouldn’t have happened.” 

Uhtred narrowed his eyes. He had been trying to help Sithric because he had seen himself in him. 

“You the reason he was dropped off at the hospital?” He managed through gritted teeth. All he had been able to do was hold the poor kid’s hand until the end. They had not been able to help him, he had been too far gone, only pumped him full of morphine to make it easier. 

“I took him there myself. I’m sorry.” 

With anger rising, he noted that there was guilt in the other man’s eyes. He had always felt like there was some grudging respect between the two of them, but right then he did not want to see that he seemed to have a conscience. 

He growled. Fleda was a dear friend, if he could get them a happy ending, he would. Anyone who could get out of this town was beyond lucky but damn it, if he did not want to punch him anyway. 

Either way, Erik looked at him out of sincere eyes, no games were being played anymore. “I wasn’t there or I’d have stopped it.” 

“And what would you have done?” Uhtred barked because there were limits to his patience. “A quick shot to the head instead? I’ve been there, remember? He was dead the moment they figured it out.” 

He was expecting the shutters to come down in the other man’s eyes, that perhaps there might even be a fight because a part of him desperately wanted it. 

Except Erik did not. He just kept looking at him steadily. “Yea,” He said, “You’re right. It’s why this all has to stop.” 

It brought him up short. 

“You really are serious.” 

“Small-time crimes I grew up with. We had to do things to survive. This,” He gestured around the room as if to encompass the whole town, “this is too much. This whole mess…” 

Uhtred could see it, he was tired. They should be fairly close in age but suddenly the VP looked older, worn down. He wondered what had changed. It could not just be Fleda. 

“It’s going to kill the club and I’m not ready to have it kill me or anyone I care about as well.” 

There was a good chance he still might not actually make it out alive but Uhtred could see that he was fully aware. He could see desperation when it was in front of him.

He grimaced because this could only turn into another big mess. Why was everything about these two giving him this feeling of doom? “Right. I’ll see what I can do.” 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention I was going to kill off some characters? Yeah, sorry about that? It is only in this AU though. I'm not gonna lie, I'm hurting myself here with both Dagfinn and Sithric but I had this planned when I started. 
> 
> I hope Erik's decision-making process makes sense. I felt like I needed to explore what would make him turn from his brother and the club more since much like in SoA, the loyalties of club members is the most important thing in their lives and so this part of the story is very much about that shift in him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Fleda's turn to consider everything involved in what they are planning.

***

The funeral was a small affair. Apparently the kid had not had any family who cared enough so he ended up on the local cemetery with little to no fanfare.

Fleda stood with Uhtred and Hild and a few official-looking gentlemen had shown up too. She looked over to the tree-line where she knew Erik was lurking. The few things he had told her about that night; it was still eating at him. 

“Your boyfriend needs to be more subtle.” Uhtred sighed beside her, so only she could hear. He was not wrong. The guy in leather with the sunglasses was sort of hard to miss. 

“He’s keeping his distance isn’t he?” She shot back, noting how some of the officials kept glancing his way. 

“It’s enough to piss people off.” He was clearly considering approaching him but she grabbed his arm before he could even make a move. 

“Any other club-member spying on the funeral, you would ignore, wouldn’t you?” 

He took a deep breath. “Yes.” 

“Then don’t give the game away before we started playing.” 

The side-ways glance he gave her was filled with admiration. “Which one of us worked undercover before?” 

She glared. 

After, she stayed behind, waited to make sure no one was around anymore, staring at the modest fresh grave. 

She felt him step up beside her. 

“Uhtred thinks you shouldn’t have shown.” 

“He’s right.” He was fiddling with his shades again.

Subtly she shifted her weight enough so that she could link their little fingers, their sleeves just about giving them plausible deniability if one was being generous. They really should not even be talking but she could not bear the look on his face.

“Sig’s been celebrating.” His voice was flat, empty. 

Fleda did not respond, not knowing how to. It was clear something had been broken between him and his brother, with the attack on the Saxon president’s family and this. 

“I don’t know why I never saw it until now.” 

Fleda looked over to see someone coming towards them in her peripheral vision. “I think someone wants to talk to you.” 

They both turned to Uhtred who gave Erik a nod and then wandered over into a more private area with a bench, hidden by two big oaks. 

She squeezed his fingers before stepping away. “I’ll wait.” 

***

“So what you’re saying is that your uncle used to run the Saxons and for some reason, he’s now specifically interested in the charter here.” 

“Yea.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know yet.” Uhtred shrugged. “Look, I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but you came to me and so I wanna be straight with you.” 

Erik stared at him through his sunglasses. “You gotta have some idea.” 

Making a face, he decided to lay all the cards on the table. “My uncle ran the original Saxon charter. My dad wouldn’t have anything to do with it. He was a cop, like me.” 

The other man gave him a blank look, patience clearly running thin.

“My dad figured out that my uncle had gotten involved in the drug trade and by that, I mean with the big boys down in Latin America.” He shrugged again. “My guess is those relationships are still there. A prison transfer is not something everyone just gets whenever they want it.” 

The blond shifted in place on the bench. “So now what you’re saying to me is that the cartels might be involved?” He sounded resigned and Uhtred remembered how he had mentioned before that he did not think the club would survive this war. 

“Yea.” He agreed with a wince. “We’re close enough to the border here.” 

“And club policy has always been to keep the drug trade out of town as much as possible.” Erik added. “Makes sense that they would try to get rid of us.”

They sat unspeaking for a bit, both keeping an eye out for any watchers but otherwise relaxed. 

“Your dad,” Erik spoke up after a while, “your uncle killed him, didn’t he?” 

There was an odd tone to his voice but he was still as a statue and with the shades, Uhtred could not read him. “I can’t prove it.” 

Rather abruptly, the outlaw pushed to his feet. “I’ll have something for you to pass to the DA soon. Fleda will get in touch.” 

As he walked off, Uhtred wondered once again what was going on that he had not figured out here. 

***

Fleda thought her head should hurt with the amount of eye-rolling she was doing. She was stood on the outskirts of the outdoor gun range of the police department with her arms crossed and the sheriff himself had asked her to meet him here.

“Do you know how to shoot a gun?” Uhtred asked her and she glared. 

“Are you gonna give me that talk now?” She asked instead of answering because it was clearly time for the lecture he had undoubtedly planned since catching Erik in her bed. 

He gave her a look. “Are you going to listen?” 

Sighing, she followed him onto the range. “I learned the basics when we took a session during our road trip.” She told him, to answer his first question. 

“Good.” He held out ear-plugs and a small handgun. “Show me.” 

She fumbled a little with the mechanism to release the magazine but was able to rack the slide and check the barrel without needing too much help. 

“Okay, not bad.” He was appraising her and pointed at the target. “No fancy stuff, aim at center-mass.” 

Taking a stance, she shot twice and when he made no move, she readjusted and kept at it until the magazine was empty. She had been counting her shots and when she put the gun down and turned to him, she knew he looked begrudgingly impressed. 

“You took a session, huh? Did Erik teach you that?” 

“No. He doesn’t even know.” She looked back at the target with her shots clustered at a decent rate around the torso of the black figure. Maybe she needed to come clean. “We had a gun in the car during the road-trip. We’d mess with it sometimes. I thought about keeping it for a while… I just didn’t like the thought of it in my place though.” 

“Fleda…” He trailed off, looked down at the gun. “Have you told him yet?” 

She crossed her arms. “None of your business.” 

Uhtred sighed. “I’ll take that as a no.” He leaned against the wooden barrier. “Look, from what I can tell, Erik’s not a bad guy, I get that, but you need to understand the world he lives in. It’s different from ours, there’s different rules, different ideas of right and wrong-“ 

“Yes, I am aware, thank you.” She told him flatly. “It’s why he wants to get out while he can. It’s why he came to you. I told him you would help. Was I wrong?” 

She could tell he was trying to keep his temper with her. “I will. I told you both I would and I will. But you need to understand that this isn’t a game. He’s dangerous by association.” 

She rolled her eyes but he reached for her hand, tugging gently. “Fleda, I need you to listen to me for once in your life, okay? Even if he gets out, they may hunt him and you have a target on your back because by hurting you, they’ll be able to hurt him.” 

“I can take care of myself.” She stubbornly insisted, but she did not shake him off. It was obvious he was genuinely worried. “We’ve talked. We’ll disappear.” 

“Disappearing isn’t all that easy.” He pointed out. “And this isn’t a spy movie. I told him to ask for passports, but if they want to, they can still come after you. The FBI can’t exactly give you new identities.” 

“But they can wipe his record clean. That means he can travel with no restrictions. He’s still got a Danish passport along with his American one.” She shrugged. “My grandmother was Irish. I’ve already sent in my application*.”

“Europe, huh?” 

She nodded. “There are charters out there, but we should be able to steer clear of anyone who might recognize him.” 

Uhtred stared her down. “And you’ll follow him into the unknown? You think that’s how easy it’ll be?” There was a bitterness in his voice. 

“No, but it’ll be better than this half-life here.” She knew very well it sounded crazy and unlike herself.   
How was she to explain their shared dreams, the memories from a past life? 

“And even if we don’t stay together,” she made herself say, “then I can start from scratch somewhere where people won’t judge me for my family or who I used to be.” 

She looked her friend in the eyes and he looked pained. “You know I need to get out of here. You said yourself that you’re worried about me.” 

“I didn’t mean run away with a convicted criminal.” It was softly spoken and he was shaking his head. “Is this really what you want? Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you even know the kinds of things club-members do?” He held up his hands before she could protest. “Listen, I’ve lived as one for a good long while. I just want to know that you are aware of everything that’s involved in this situation.” 

“I’m not a naive little girl, Uhtred.” 

“Have you asked him?” Uhtred dared her. “Have you asked him about what it took for him to earn his mayhem patch? That would have been his first kill, you know.” 

She had not know that but it was not really a surprise either if she was being honest. “I haven’t. I don’t have a right to dig into his past when he does not dig into mine.” 

“Maybe you should.” He got up, dug through the duffle at his feet and threw a manila folder in front of her. “Take it with you if you want, but give it a read.” 

*** 

She had taken it with her, but other than opening the file briefly to be greeted with a mugshot of a beaten up teenage Erik, looking defiantly into the camera, she had not touched it. 

The photo had made her flip the cover back closed. So the folder lay there on her coffee table and she sat in front of it on the sofa, scratching at her hair, making it stick up and smoothing it back down as she tried to think of what to do. 

She reached for her phone, opened her messages, closed the app again, went for her contact list instead and pressed the call button. 

He picked up almost immediately. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” She stared at the folder, trying to work out what to say. “How are things with the club?” 

“Not great.” He admitted. 

“Do you think you can come by today?” She realized she had been spiking her hair up again and gave up. It was a rumpled mess and it would stay that way. 

She could hear him sigh into the phone. “I’m not sure, sweetheart. I… I have to be careful.” 

“It’s okay.” She told him, eyes still on the folder. “I just need to ask you something.” 

“Okay.” He said again. 

“Uhtred gave me your police records.” It was like ripping off a band-aid and all she could do was wait for his reaction. 

It took a moment. “Have you read them?” 

“No. I didn’t want to-” 

“Read them.” He sounded oddly sure. 

“I won’t if you don’t want me to.” She insisted. 

“I do… I do. Read them.” He blew out a breath loud enough for the speaker to pick up. “Text me when you’re done?” 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All these citizenship things are far more complicated but I’m rolling with it, so please roll with it too.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first bit is texting. I'm just not great at formatting and still don't know how to embed screenshots etc.

I NEED TO SEE YOU. >>

>> H MIGHT FOLLOW ME AGAIN.

  
CAN I COME TO YOU?>>

>> …  
>>…  
>>MAKE SURE NO ONE SEES YOU?

DON’T WORRY.>>

And so she stood in front of the door of what looked like a small condo with the hood of her sweatshirt up. It was already dark and there was no one loitering anywhere nearby.

She fidgeted after ringing the doorbell, waiting and feeling a little exposed.

When Erik opened the door, he looked apprehensive, checking behind her around the entry-way.

“No one around. I promise.” She said quietly, pushing past him and then standing there a little awkwardly as he locked back up.

The place was nice enough, if one ignored the fact that it was filled with Wolves of Valhalla merchandise. It made her consider what it must be like, to have grown up so deeply involved in the MC. Was it like their family’s involvement with the church community? It almost seemed laughable to make the comparison but it was the only one she could think of.

A cult, she thought, some would compare this to a cult. With what she had read, it was not that far-fetched.

Turning back, she found Erik still standing by the door, like he was in front of a jury expecting a verdict.

It took all of two seconds to cross the room and draw him into a gentle, loving kiss. When he drew back, staring at her, she smiled, hand still around the back of his neck, drawing tiny circles with her fingers in the way she knew he found soothing.

She did not say anything. There was not really anything she felt needed to be said.

Eventually, he seemed to get over his worst expectations and really read her expression. He let out a disbelieving breath, giving her another long searching look, before nodding the tiniest bit.

She pulled herself closer, hugging herself around him and after another long hesitation he melted into her, the way he always did.

“I thought…” He gulped, shook his head and dug his nose into her neck. “The things in that file-“

“They’re not exactly misdemeanours.” She admitted. “But they also don’t tell me the whole story. And I don’t need to hear that until you’re ready to share it. Just like you let me keep my secrets.”

“I doubt you were ever a gun violence suspect, sweetheart.” He placed a tender kiss on her shoulder. “Were you?”

Licking her lips, she only held him tighter. “No, nothing like that. I’ll tell you one day, okay?”

This time it was him who raised his head to look at her before giving her a soft kiss. “Only when you’re ready.”

She smiled against his lips. “We’ve got enough to worry about right now, don’t you think?”

“Yea, we do.” He eased away with a long sigh so they could look at each other properly. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Yea.” She just agreed, their arms still loosely around each other, both unwilling to let go. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Sweetheart, I’d have a bad feeling about this if this thing between us hadn’t happened. There’s a few things that…” He shook his head, stared at the Wolf woodcut artwork displayed over his sofa.

“There’s very few rules in our world. One of them is that you don’t go after women and children. That we keep our neighborhood clean and protect it is another.”

She made to speak, then stopped herself and instead waited for him to work through his thoughts.

His eyes met hers again and he shrugged helplessly. “I’m not stupid. I know that it was only a matter of time before things spiral out of control. It’s how this works. There’s a balance that gets established and you do everything you can to keep it but if that fails, you have to survive.”

At this point he turned away and her hand in his, went into his kitchen. Flipping the coffee-maker on one-handedly, he leaned back against the counter and drew her back into his arms. She let herself be pliant, able to tell that he needed the contact.

“I guess I’m just tired of it?” He muttered but it sounded unsure, like he could not quite grasp why the life he had been born into was now one he desperately wanted to leave behind. “Maybe I’m not made for it the way Sig is.”

It sounded like he felt like a failure for it.

“You know what I think?” She got on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead and wrap her arms around his neck. “I think you’re a good man.”

His eyes flickered up to her only briefly to give her a doubtful look. “Big bad biker man, remember?”

Smiling she poked him in the ribs, just where she knew he was ticklish and predictably he cringed. “Yea, and I didn’t buy it then and I’m not buying it now. You’re just a big puppy and don’t even pretend otherwise.”

His long-suffering look only made her giggle. “I used to have street rep, you know.”

“Mhm.” She poked him again.

“Alright! Alright.” Yelping he caught her hands. “Message received.”

There was a knock on the front door and they both froze.

“Second door on the left is the bedroom. There’s a big closet. Hide behind the boxes.” Erik hissed at her and pulled her in that direction even as he grabbed his gun from the holster that hung by his jacket on the wall.

She wanted to protest but really, she would only be in the way and knew it. She slipped through the bedroom door, found the closet and left both doors a little ajar but hunkered down behind the cardboard boxes.

“Who is it?” Erik’s voice was loud and clear. The reply was much more muffled but apparently someone he recognised because she could hear him unlock the door.

“You’re twitchy.” The new voice grunted loudly and the door was closed again.

“Shit, Sig. It’s late at night, what did you expect?”

So that was his brother. She was not sure what she had expected but the voice fit him.

“I don’t know.” There was a pause. “Bit late for coffee.” She tensed, because the coffee had been for her. She was sure that until he had met her, Erik had not been in the habit of late night coffee binges.

“Couldn’t sleep anyway. Thought I might as well.” Footsteps sounded. “You want some?”

“Nah, I’ll take a beer.” Different footsteps moving somewhere else and a sigh, so she assumed he had sat on the sofa. “I thought we’d have another chat about today.”

“You know what I think.” Erik must have joined him again.

“Yea. But you walked out before we could discuss this.”

“What’s there to discuss? You agreed to bring this into the club, you’re the president.”

“Yea, you said that.” The voice sounded annoyed.

“Then tell me what you want to hear.” Erik sounded drained again, much like he had earlier.

“Well, a little appreciation would be nice. I fixed our problem.”

Erik said nothing and there was a long pause.

“We’re heading the mother charter now, Erik. This is the kind of thing we came here to do. Give the club a future.”

“This is giving the club a future?” It was full of disappointed incredulity.

\- “We both said something had to change, that the old members were too stuck in their ways.”

“I didn’t mean make a deal with the cartels and start trafficking hard drugs!”

Silence.

She flinched at the sudden impact of glass against wood but it was probably only a bottle slammed down on the table because there was only more thick silence.

“Haesten was right. You don’t get it.” It was said with utter contempt, like a damnation.

Another pause.

There was a dull finality in Erik’s voice when he spoke again. “Maybe you should make him VP then.”

“The fuck is wrong with you?!” His brother bellowed suddenly. “You know what? Maybe I should! Big fucking help you’ve been for the last few months.”

A tense silence.

“Fucking say something!”

“Tell me what you want to hear.” Erik said, insistent and calm as could be. “I said what I thought needed to be said, you won’t listen, so… tell me what you want me to say.”

This time his brother seemed lost for words. “Are you telling me you’re resigning?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No!” There was a desperate emotion there that Fleda could not help but note. “Fuck no! That isn’t what I want and you know it!”

“So you want me to shut up and do as you say? I didn’t think that was who we were.”

“It isn’t! We’re a team. We’ve always been a team.” There was still that strange note in his brother’s voice, that cajoling, panicky cadence. “What’s going on with you, Erik?”

This time the silence was even longer.

“I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“That’s never good.” It was a weak joke and it was apparent the speaker knew as much.

“I thought about what you said mom had wanted for me.”

There was a long groan. “I should never have told you. I know you were her baby, I know you still blame me about -“

“I don’t blame you and you know I don’t.” The interruption was terse and she could almost see him clench his jaw as he tried to keep himself together. “It just made me think about the life I want.”

“Okay.”

“I want something that’s mine, Sig. Something to live for outside the club.”

“Okay. So what? You found yourself a girl? Is that what’s got you all cagey? You thinking about having an old lady?”

“Maybe.”

Fleda felt her heart drop for a second. She heard the uncertainty in that word, could tell he was wavering. Would he confess to his brother after all? Would he pull out of the deal with the DA because he could not bear to do this to family?

“Who is it?” His brother latched on to the new information immediately. “It can’t be the new chick, she’s disappeared since we got rid of the rat. I got half a mind to chase her down to see if she knew-“

“It isn’t her, Sig. And leave the poor girl alone. I bet she was as shocked as the rest of us.” Something had changed in Erik’s voice again. He sounded firmer but also more closed off. “I’ve just been thinking about it, is all. There aren’t any girls my type in this town anyways.”

“Huh. So then what’s going on?”

“Are you sure about the cartel? Really, really sure?”

“Give me another option! Way I see it, we work with them, maybe make a nice profit, or they’re gonna send more than the Saxons after us.” A long sigh. “If you got any ideas, tell me. I just think it’s an opportunity.”

“Sig…” Erik implored, “the club always stayed away from drugs. In fact we usually make sure that there is no drug trade anywhere in our territory. Remember how uncle Dan -“

“He’s not here.” He was interrupted, quite harshly. “And if he was, it wouldn’t be his decision because I run the mother charter. Not uncle Dan, me! We rebuilt it after it nearly went to shit. Club’s ours now. So are you gonna be there with me or not?”

It was meant as an ultimatum.

“Of course I’m with you.”

Eventually, with a few more reassurances, he seemed to have convinced him because she heard two sets of footsteps again and the door opening and closing.

There was a pause and then Erik’s footsteps came towards the bedroom.

When she came out behind the boxes as he opened the closet door, she hesitated but he walked straight into her arms. “He’s not giving me a choice.” He said, an odd calm to his voice but there was the hint of a question there.

Her hand came up to cup the back of his head on instinct, like some many things between them at this point. “I did say we could try to run away. Maybe Alaska?” She suggested, not really serious but also aching to offer him another way out.

“Yea, I hear it’s nice this time of year.” He kissed her forehead, breathed her in. “I can do this, sweetheart. I need to do this. It’s our only chance.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't had as much time to proof-read this but wanted to post asap anyhow.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while that I saw SoA and I intend to steal gratuitous amounts for this and remix it to suit my purposes.  
> Characters may also randomly die who did not die and live if they died, I haven't decided yet. Alfred is certainly gone already. Some I might only refer to and never turn up as well. 
> 
> And if I can figure out how to imbed images and also how to cite source links (???), I will somehow add in the moodboard I made in the next (first) chapter.


End file.
